Sources report that the King is having ‘a dark night of the soul’ at the prospect of two pieces of legislation he may soon have to sign into law. First is decriminalising abortion, second is a bill legalising assisted dying. It seems that the Royal Family will have to be excluded from the legislation – or else there will need to be a reform of the treason laws. The 1351 Treason Act, still in force, makes it an offence to ‘compass or imagine’ the death of the monarch. It is also treasonous to ‘interrupt’ the line of succession. Abortion and euthanasia also pose problems for His Majesty as Supreme Governor of the Church of England, which opposes both bills.
Andrew Lownie’s warts-and-all tome about the Duke of York records that Fergie demanded a whole side of beef, a leg of lamb and a chicken be roasted and laid out for dinner. Trencherwoman Sarah may not have devoured the lot but she was surely a lightweight compared with Edward VII. Daily, the Falstaffian fattie had a 12-course dinner prepared – with a five-course supper to follow. He stuffed himself with the lot (having had three other hearty meals throughout the day). Still feeling peckish, he retired to bed with a roast chicken or whole lobster for snacking purposes.
Choosing Princess Diana as her fantasy dinner party guest on a podcast, Fern Britton contradicts Harry’s conviction that his late mother would have ‘loved’ Meghan, pictured. ‘I think Diana would hate her, because she was slick and smart and clever and snatching her baby boy,’ spouts Fern. ‘There would be real friction there.’
Eulogising Noel Gallagher in The Spectator, Rachel Johnson recalls his fury after she interviewed him before Oasis reformed. ‘You said we were drinking PG Tips in my kitchen!!???,’ raged Noel. ‘HOW F***ING DARE YOU!!!!!! Anyone who is anyone knows that PG Tips are for squares. I haven’t had PG Tips in the house since 1998 (a moment of weakness as I’d JUST given up cocaine and was refusing to go to the supermarket). It was YORKSHIRE TEA we were drinking!’
Celebrating the hundredth anniversary of Peter Sellers’ birth at the National Film Theatre, his eldest daughter Sarah recalls his unhinged behaviour when he became obsessed with Leigh Taylor-Young, wife of Hollywood star Ryan O’Neal. ‘Leigh told me that Dad had offered Ryan a Ferrari in return for his wife,’ Sarah remembers. ‘Now, if you’re the daughter of a man like this, does such a revelation make you laugh or cry?’
Sarah Sellers didn’t mention her dad’s even more daft proposal. Married to Britt Ekland and fancying Princess Margaret, he once suggested to Mags’ husband Lord Snowdon that they exchange wives. Wouldn’t it have made a splendid item for Noel Edmonds’ Multi-Coloured Swap Shop?
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EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Why Meghan wouldn’t be a guest at Fern’s dinner party