Jimmy Kimmel has a tempting opportunity for Donald Trump. After Venezuelan opposition leader María Corina Machado gave her Nobel Peace Prize to the president yesterday, Kimmel attempted to bribe Trump with his choice of any of the awards Kimmel has won over the years.
“Trump loves awards,” Kimmel said. “Giving him an award seems like the only way to get him to do anything. And with that said, Mr. President, I have an offer I think you’ll find difficult to refuse. If you, and only if, you agree to pull ICE out of Minneapolis and put them back at the borders where they belong, I am prepared to offer you one of the following trophies that I have been honored with over the years.”
Kimmel showcased a red velour stand lined with numerous awards, including a Daytime Emmy, a Clio, a Webby, and a Writers Guild Award. “Or,” Kimmel added, “best of all, I’m willing to hand over my 2015 Soul Train Award for White Person of the Year.”
“The choice is yours,” Kimmel said. “I will personally deliver any or even all of these to the Oval Office in exchange for leaving the people of Minneapolis alone.”
Kimmel recounted Machado’s visit to Washington, D.C. “Trump said Machado was coming to the White House to pay her regards to our country,” Kimmel said. “Whether she made that payment in cash or check, we don’t know. But after disappearing their president, Trump refused to support Machado as the new leader of Venezuela. And some in his circle believe it’s because she didn’t give him her Nobel Prize.”
After visiting Trump, Machado told reporters she had given the president her medal. “Rarely does a president yank a Nobel Prize off of someone’s neck,” Kimmel noted. “You know he’s back in the Oval Office sucking on it like a pacifier right now.”
Machado was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in October, a blow to Trump, who had been heavily campaigning to receive the honor. The Norwegian Nobel Committee said Machado was given the prize for “her tireless work promoting democratic rights for the people of Venezuela and for her struggle to achieve a just and peaceful transition from dictatorship to democracy.”
In the months since, Trump has invaded Venezuela, removed its leader Nicolás Maduro, and taken over the country’s oil reserves. The president has repeatedly told reporters that the South American nation — home to some of the largest oil reserves on the planet — “stole our oil.”
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“We’re going to have a presence in Venezuela as it pertains to oil,” Trump said. “We’re going to be taking out a tremendous amount of wealth out of the ground.”
Although Trump missed out on the Nobel Peace Prize, he did receive the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize in December, a completely made-up award given to him by FIFA President Gianni Infantino. Infantino said Trump earned the prize thanks to his “exceptional and extraordinary actions to promote peace and unity around the world.”