A retired couple in Ohio says they’re desperate for peace but feel stuck parenting their adult daughter well into their 70s and 80s. The daughter, now 52, has spent most of her life unemployed and living at home.
Carol, the 75-year-old mother, shared the story during a recent call to “The Ramsey Show,” saying she and her husband are ready to reclaim their home and their peace. “She is annoying. We would like to be alone in our old age,” Carol said.
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A Lifetime Of Enabling Comes To A Breaking Point
Carol explained that her daughter has lived with her and her husband for nearly her entire life, aside from brief periods living with boyfriends or one of her brothers. At this point, Carol said none of her other children are willing to take her in, and the couple admits they played a role in creating the problem.
“She doesn’t want to work,” Carol said. “And we have enabled her. We need to learn how to not enable her.”
Hosts George Kamel and Jade Warshaw were straightforward. They told Carol that the only way to stop enabling her daughter was to stop immediately, not gradually, not emotionally, and not with mixed messages.
“The way you learn to not enable her is to stop the behavior today,” Warshaw said. “Because she knows you guys will be a doormat and just keep going and let her come back and keep covering the bills whenever she’s short,” Kamel added.
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Their advice is to set a firm move-out deadline, communicate it calmly, and treat it as a final decision, not a negotiation. Warshaw suggested telling her daughter, plainly, “We have decided that you are moving out at the end of this month.” No qualifiers. No apologies.
Because the daughter has lived in the home for decades and receives mail there, the hosts warned there may be tenant rights involved. Carol was encouraged to research Ohio eviction laws and, if needed, consult an attorney to make sure the process is done legally.
Emotional Fallout Inevitable As Parents Set Boundaries
The emotional fallout, they all agreed, is unavoidable.
“She will probably yell, or she will probably cry, or she may just stomp out the door and say, ‘You’ll never see me again,’” Carol said. “At 52 years old, if she does that, then you’re just going to have to let her do that because that’s the behavior of not a 52-year-old,” Warshaw answered.
The hosts stressed that mental health crises must be taken seriously, but they also drew a firm line: allowing her daughter to move back in is not the solution. Instead, they suggested offering limited, structured help, such as paying for counseling sessions or covering first and last month’s rent, while making it known that ongoing financial support is over.
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If her daughter lives another 30 years, the hosts said, she deserves the chance to live them independently, not dependent on parents well into their 80s.
For families facing similar situations, the financial side of these decisions can feel just as overwhelming as the emotional one. Working with a certified financial planner can help couples think through boundaries, long-term costs, and what support is sustainable. Domain Money offers personalized financial planning for households earning $100,000 or more, helping families make confident money decisions, especially when family dynamics are involved.
The advice Carol received was not gentle, but it was straightforward: peace in old age requires boundaries, even when they come decades later.
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This article ‘Ramsey Show’ Caller Says Their 52-Year-Old Daughter Still Lives With Them. ‘She Is Annoying. We Would Like To Be Alone In Our Old Age’ originally appeared on Benzinga.com
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