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Fanny Hill (1983) is a full-on soft-core erotica adaptation of the 1748 novel by John Cleland (which, to be fair, is also FULL ON erotica, no holds barred). It’s got no costume designer listed in the credits, which should tell you something. It’s the last of my attempts this Snark Week to get through some of the wacky 18th-century adaptations out there, and while it’s not as dire as some, there’s A LOT OF NIPPLE (and full bush that is historically accurate to both the 18th century and 1983) that I just fast-forwarded through. There’s no real way to review this, other than a costume-focused recap:

Fanny Hill arrives in London to seek her fortune. She’s immediately robbed, goes looking for work, and is hired by a madam:

1983 Fanny HillThe madam wears a very 1680s-style gown, based on the sleeves and the way she’s pulled back the overskirt.
1983 Fanny HillIt, like most other gowns in this, laces in back, but she’s also wearing it over no corset OR chemise, as you can see when she bends over.

The madam trains her up through girl-on-girl baths, new clothes, and then girl-on-girl action:

1983 Fanny HillZipper! The hair in this will DEFINITELY feature in my contemporary hairstyle series when I get to the ’80s.
1983 Fanny HillFanny’s new dress and never-ending feathered hair — I feel like I’m watching a hair metal video! Brunette is her soon-to-be lover.
1983 Fanny HillMost everything in this is back-lacing and has rounded-off waistlines in back that should be Vs at the very least.

The madam sells Fanny’s virginity to an older customer. Despite all the hot lesbian action, Fanny is surprised and horrified and at some point the guy hits his head, so can’t complete the transaction. The next day, young Charles (Barry Stokes, who played the love interest in Lady Oscar! and also acted in Reilly: Ace of Spies and The Last Days of Pompeii) gives her some gentle kisses, and that’s enough for her to plot to run off with him:

1983 Fanny HillThere’s a whole series of Sears Catalog poly nightgowns for your pleasure. Also note Charles’s weirdly black lace cuffs.
1983 Fanny HillI guess the Sears nightgown came in beige AND pink?

Oliver Reed!! turns up as a lawyer in a face-eating wig who forces the madam to give Charles money for having tried to sell Fanny’s virginity.

Fanny-Hill 1983It’s not a good look.
1983 Fanny HillMadam has a light hand with the makeup.

Fanny and Charles shack up and are in love:

1983 Fanny HillCute hat if this were the 17th century; the first of many side-ponytails.
1983 Fanny HillI can’t with the hair flowers and chintzy gold lace.
1983 Fanny Hill’80s bridesmaid hair! Where’s her lace parasol?
1983 Fanny HillShockingly, this doesn’t close in back!!
1983 Fanny HillThere is a LOT of tender fireplace shagging. Also some comic shagging plus scenes that may have been very titillating for 1983?
1983 Fanny HillChristmas wrapping paper fabric; more back lacing; oh the endlessly feathered hair!
1983 Fanny HillLOOK I’M A LADY IN YE OLDEN TIMES.

Charles’s father (allegedly) finds out about their affair and packs Charles off to “the Indies” (I’m dubious); Fanny’s landlady hooks her up with a new patron, who sets her up in a house.

1983 Fanny HillLandlady is dumpy, but I don’t hate her cap.
1983 Fanny HillGaposis!
1983 Fanny HillHey, an actual 1740s-ish style — the robe à la française! I won’t bother to point out the sleeve ruffles are more 1760s+.
1983 Fanny HillAnother actual front-closing gown?? I mean, you don’t need to lace a stomacher closed…

Fanny catches the new guy in bed with her maid, so shags the stableboy; when they get caught, the new guy throws her out:

1983 Fanny HillIt’s not hideous, if you ignore the hair and makeup.
1983 Fanny HillOh good she brought the Sears nightgown to her new gig!

Fanny meets up with someone she knew from the first brothel, who takes her to a new brothel/millinery shop run by Shelley Winters (The Great Gatsby, The Treasure of Pancho Villa, The Portrait of a Lady):

1983 Fanny HillFanny’s cape is of the lightest poly-baroque satin; guess her friend stole her hat?
1983-fanny-hill-bangsFeathered hair, bangs … no modern trend shall go undocumented!
1983 Fanny HillWinters’s makeup looks like she did it herself, especially the false lashes.
1983 Fanny HillThe millinery shop during the day.
1983 Fanny HillWinters kicks off an evening party in her best princess seams.
1983 Fanny HillMore stunners, including the princess seams on the left and Fanny’s obviously faked stomacher with side hooks & eyes.
1983 Fanny HillMore side ponytail action!
1983 Fanny HillI particularly enjoyed the weird yellow ribbons on the back of this dress. And the way the skirt is lifted only at the center back is kind of vaginal?
1983 Fanny HillThe guys all have short, modern, layered hair with attempts at queues stapled on.
1983 Fanny HillHijinks ensue!

A VERY LONG AND UNINTERESTING sex show occurs:

1983 Fanny HillIt’s SO bad. Fluff that hair, girl!
1983 Fanny HillEventually Fanny and her guy take the stage. Fanny is wearing the dumpiest, ugliest dress in the whole production, while guy’s pants have an INSANELY high waistband.
1983 Fanny HillThe little top-of-the-head ponytail killed me. Does the guy even have a queue? Or just a bow stapled to the back of his head?
1983 Fanny HillShe’s got a weird polyester cape in back, and sleeve ruffles that look like a skin condition you don’t want.

Shelley Winters hooks Fanny up with a kind, elderly patron:

1983 Fanny HillMore EXCELLENTLY subtle makeup on Winters. Also note the teased short ’80s curls.
1983 Fanny HillFanny gets a decent attempt at a cap for day?
1983 Fanny HillStripes? I’m looking for something to like here!
1983 Fanny HillFanny reads to her elderly benefactor.
1983 Fanny HillSome of the most unforgettable women in the world wear Revlon!

Kind, elderly patron dies, and Oliver Reed shows back up to tell her he left her all her money:

1983 Fanny HillSadly no lace bibs in this!
1983 Fanny HillFanny manages to get her hair up into a ballet bun for the funeral.

En route to her new country estate, Fanny runs into Charles, newly returned from the Indies, and the two reunite at an inn!

 

Thoughts on Fanny Hill‘s costumes and why feathered hair was so on-trend in the early 1980s? Share ’em in the comments!

 

 

 

 

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