Here we are. We have MADE it. First Friday of March. I gotta be honest with you – I feel like we sort of limped to the finish line this week.
I always say I’m nothing if not fair, and I have to be fair here … it hasn’t been a great week for our team. Like any war, we started out optimistic and full of patriotism, and now things are starting to drag. And it’s only Day 7!
The jobs report was a bummer this morning. No way around that.
The stock market is responding how I figured it would earlier this week. I thought we escaped this one. We did not.
The good news? It’s only March. Thank God. If this was September, we’d be cooked. Again, I have to be fair. But, there’s still plenty of time to turn this sucker around. We’ve done it before, and we’ll do it again.
And buddy, this Friday class is gonna be the start. Let’s roll.
Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where Modern Family’s Ariel Winter (Alex Dunphy!) makes her debut in a coat and nothing else. What a moment.
What else? I’ve got the best #content from a loaded week, Gatorade shockingly hates white males, Shohei Ohtani is already launching balls to the moon, and AI Bill Clinton is HERE! This should end well.
Grab you a Good Burger to celebrate Shaq’s 54th birthday, and settle in for a Friday ‘Cap!
Gatorade probably just fell asleep at the wheel here, right?
Iconic scene. Iconic movie. I think this one goes on my Mount Rushmore of Obscure 90s Movies For Pre-Teens.
Sure, it’s a very niche list, but I think I nailed it:
1. Good Burger
2. Small Soldiers
3. Big Fat Liar
4. Smart House
I mean, come ON! Is that a perfect list, or what? Some truly electric movies in there, and I’d wager to say most of you haven’t thought about any of them in YEARS.
Not in this class. Not when we’re trying to turn this month around. This is what I mean when I say we’re going to boost morale today.
With #content like THIS:
Such an absurd movie. God, I miss those days. Again, I realize this is a niche way to start class, but the 14 of you who get it are already deep in a wormhole right now. You’re welcome!
OK, let’s come back to 2026, unfortunately, and check in with Gatorade!
What a week of #content!
Amazing. Bravo, Gatorade! You’ve managed to make Propel taste that much better!
Look, I don’t get bothered by stuff like this because, frankly, I’m numb to it. We’ve done this insufferable social warrior stuff for six years now. Six years! We’re closer to 2030 at this point than we are 2020. How depressing is that?
So, yeah, it bounces off of me like rubber bullets. But, it’s still so stupid. Did Gatorade really think this would go unnoticed? Did they want it to be noticed? Did they just not care? Was it an oversight?
If that last one is true, then everyone in the marketing department should probably be fired. According to today’s jobs report, they wouldn’t be alone.
For those wondering, some notable white male athletes to be sponsored by Gatorade over the years include Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Derek Jeter and Bryce Harper.
Oh well. Who knows? Perhaps one of these athletes will identify as a white male. I hear that’s very popular in today’s world!
OK, let’s get to the best #content from a long week:
AI Bill, Modern Family Ariel & Shohei!
A solid first week of March, beyond, you know, everything else going on. All is well on the internet streets, though! Couple thoughts …
1. Good to have Sydney Smith back in class. Also interesting to see the Nightcaps OG using our given nickname to her without any credit. Oh well. As is life.
2. I filled up with gas on the way home from my bachelor party Sunday … I wish I had gone ahead and just filled it all the way up. What an IDIOT.
3. Imagine being stuck somewhere in Iran and seeing a Patriots plane come to your rescue? Amazing.
4. A Netflix Little House reboot? There is absolutely no way that’s ending well.
OK, let’s rapid-fire this Friday class into a big weekend. First up? It’s Team USA day in the World Baseball Classic. The fellas lace ‘em up at 8 p.m. against a Brazil team that must be beyond horrific, given we’re … 9.5 … run favorites.
9.5!!! I’ve never, in my life, seen a spread like that in baseball. Ever. I can’t imagine they’re THAT bad, right?
Yep. Never mind. I ain’t touching that line. Sucker’s bet!
Speaking of the WBC … we had a semi-heated debate on yesterday’s OutKick PM call about the tournament, and whether people actually cared or not.
I say yes.
Exhibit A:
LOOK at those numbers. My God. That has to be the biggest baseball tweet … ever? Has to be. Nearly 20 million views. Over 17 million retweets. A quarter-million likes.
Yes, it’s Shohei Ohtani. Yes, he’s Japan’s version of Taylor Swift. But come on. Don’t you dare tell me people don’t care about the World Baseball Classic. That’s nonsense.
USA!
Next? Let’s check in with Bill Clinton off a big week of Epstein hearings!
“I take time out of my day to visit your little shit-shop, and you’re giving me lip?!”
Good stuff. I laughed. Look, I hate AI. It’s coming for all of us, myself included. Very much included. I assume a robot will be teaching this class one day while I’m bagging groceries at the Publix. I’ve made my peace with it at this point.
BUT, I can get on board with this sort of AI usage. It could be – and will be – way worse.
OK, that’s it for today – and this week! Solid end to a rough week. We’re turning it around, though. Let’s carry this momentum into the weekend, huh?
Take us there, Ariel Winter! And welcome to class.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Did Gatorade just forget about us? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.