Despite Hollywood-sized egos, superstars often attend the Golden Raspberries to collect their ‘Razzies’ – Oscar-parody awards for the worst movies of the year. Now Prince Harry has been given an award for his 416-page moan-fest that no respectable writer would ever want as it’s the British public telling him: “You’re full of it.”
In loos all across the UK, Brits have voted Harry’s autobiography Spare the number one book to read on the toilet in research commissioned by toilet roll brand Cushelle in February. It’s ironic, as I’ve long and cheekily felt the contents of Spare’s pages are dramatically improved if used to wipe a bottom or too. It’s soft, strong and thoroughly absorbent.
With his usual thin-skin, Harry’s ego will be smarting after yet another example that post-Megxit he and Meghan Markle have lost the nation’s love.
But two people who may have a private chuckle will be his older brother Prince William and the sister-in-law Harry targeted in his 2023 book – Catherine.
In Spare, Harry told the world there was a rift between Meghan and the Princess of Wales, or ‘Kate’ as he repeatedly called her in the book – despite knowing she prefers to be called ‘Catherine’.
Harry also spilled the beans on a private row over bridesmaid dresses in the lead-up to his wedding that left Meghan in tears while Catherine “grimaced” when the duchess borrowed her lip-gloss.
None of these were meant to show Catherine in a good light, especially to Harry’s US audience. They were also mean to lay the foundation for Meghan being the ultimate victim of a stuffy royal ‘establishment’.
Harry then claimed that in a clear-the-air meeting – again also deemed private between the two couples – William “pointed a finger at Meg”, then allegedly blasted: “Well, it’s rude, Meghan. These things are not done here.”
We are led to believe that in response Meghan made a proud stand for all women against the patriarchy by defiantly replying: “If you don’t mind, keep your finger out of my face!”
Meanwhile, when Harry was snapped in an ill-judged Nazi uniform on Halloween in 2005 he profoundly apologised – but later in Spare he took the opportunity to try to throw William and Catherine under the bus.
Blaming them too for his crass costume, he said he asked them whether to go as a Nazi or a pilot: “Nazi uniform, they said.” Later adding when he tried it on in front of them “they both howled”.
So while Harry stews on his ‘porcelain throne’ about his award he should accept one thing: He’s the ‘Spare’ – so should be used to being called a number two.