Whatever you think of Sarah Ferguson – and you can only imagine the fan mail has dried up of late – you have to give her credit for one thing.
She’s done a remarkable job of seemingly vanishing off the face of the Earth. There have been more reported sightings of Yetis, the Loch Ness Monster and Lord Lucan in the last few months than the former Duchess of York.
In fact, of late, it appears there’s more chance of seeing Lord Lucan chasing after a Yeti on the back of the Loch Ness Monster than there is of seeing Fergie in public.
Ex-hubby Andrew, by contrast, seems to struggle with the idea of lying low.
Giving bemused passers-by a jolly ‘business as usual’ wave while horse riding in Windsor is reported to have been enough for King Charles to declare ‘enough already’ and order his brother to move to an exceedingly dull corner of Norfolk.
The Royal Family seem to have adopted the sensible strategy of keeping Andrew and Fergie out of sight. Ideally, until around Boxing Day 2050.
Fergie has been doing as asked. In an age when even grainy footage of a cat sneezing has to be urgently posted on social media, it’s remarkable that she hasn’t been pictured for months.
Perhaps she’s accidentally locked herself in a cupboard, and nobody’s realised.
But we have now heard that she’s reportedly moaned to friends that her downfall is not all of her own making.
An insider told Heat: “Fergie’s very bitter, she’s angry and feels wronged by everyone in the family. She doesn’t have the guts to confront anyone, but when she’s had a couple of drinks, that’s when the liquid courage kicks in, and when she starts unloading.”
They continued: “Camilla’s been getting the brunt of Sarah’s fury. They were very close friends for years, so Sarah feels incredibly betrayed.”
If true, this seems almost unbelievable.
So it has nothing to do with her decision to fly to America with Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie to New York to meet vile paedophile Jeffrey Epstein just days after his release from prison for procuring a 14-year-old girl for prostitution?
Nothing to do with her allegedly gossiping about daughter Eugenie being away on a “sha****g weekend”
And nothing to do with decades of wild spending that reportedly included £300 a week of vegetables from Waitrose. That’s a lot of broccoli.
Fergie’s only hope now of returning to any sort of normality is to play the long game. The very long game of staying out of sight and saying nothing that will rile the royals or the British public.
She could learn a thing or two from Queen Camilla, too. Back in the late 1990s, she was about as popular as shingles. But she’s played the long game of earning the public’s respect through putting the monarchy first and avoiding scandal.
Avoiding scandal for Sarah Ferguson, however, based on past form, might prove even harder than avoiding a free lunch.