An honest question: Is there anything more irritating than seeing a famous person pop up in Criterion’s famed Closet for one of their periodic video grab-bag segments, and then walk out with a bag less than half full? The whole point of the long-running video series—in which stars are allowed to take as many discs as they like from a closet containing the entire Criterion Collection, provided they talk a little bit about each pick—is to channel the vibes of the Nickelodeon Super Toy Run, except for claustrophobic cinephiles, allowing movie fans to go hog-wild on many of the most beloved films ever made. Sure, you could argue that a lot of these famous folk probably already have a decent chunk of these discs, or—like Paul Giamatti in his extremely sparing trip a few years back—are so possessed of a sense of repression that they cut themselves off after only a handful of snags. But all we can say is god bless Oscar Isaac, for actually walking out of that damn closet with a bag bursting at the seams this week.
Like many, the Frankenstein star often seemed guided in his selections by the works of his friends and collaborators, notably snagging two Guillermo Del Toro offerings, Pan’s Labyrinth and Pinocchio, and his old buddy Jessica Chastain’s The Tree Of Life. (He also nabbed his own Inside Llewyn Davis, highlighting its place in his career.) But the man also seemed to genuinely be looking to bulk out his collection, grabbing a copy of Rushmore, a box set of John Cassavetes movies, and multiple Akira Kurosawa flicks. All told, Oscar’s total haul clocked in at 18 movies, which he finished the video by clutching to his chest with a happy “Mine!”
Which got us to wondering: Who’s made the biggest effort at clearing the Closet out? Luckily for us, Letterbox obsessives have answered this question with a set of lists that helpfully documents every single pick ever recorded, revealing that Isaac’s take is actually pretty meager in the grand scheme of things. Admittedly, the existence of box sets and short films sometimes make total takes a bit deceptive—a number of visitors have bulked up their numbers considerably by grabbing the 39-film Ingmar Bergman’s Cinema—but the uncontested champions of being filmic packrats appear to be Josh and Benny Safdie, who stormed the Closet in 2017, and apparently left with canvas bags stuffed with 80 different films. The lowest number, meanwhile, comes courtesy of Iranian director Jafar Panahi, who—unsurprising, given his long history of imprisonment and legal persecution in his home country—chose to travel extremely light with his single pick back in January: Vittorio De Sica’s Bicycle Thieves.