It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. I didn’t look, but I’m guessing it’s at least been a couple years since I’ve been a fill-in recapper/reviewer. It’s been more than five since I was the regular recapper/reviewer on a weekly show (I still miss you, black-and-gold era NXT). Sorry, my writing career’s been on my mind for some reason. You didn’t come for here for job anxiety from somebody fortunate enough to get paid to help create a pro wrestling blog since around 2013, though.
There was a reason to bring up my rustiness with this particular kind of article. We’re just gonna go through the show chronologically for the most part — with my signature blend of geeky snark and typos, natch. Then we’ll wrap it up with overall thoughts and a grade that will either make you say, “same”, or “nope”, but hopefully not “the man’s an idiot”. If I do my job, it should spark some discussion, and not just about the typos.
To paraphrase a friend and colleague, let’s jam through the Backlash eve SmackDown, shall we? Refresh your memory and/or check my work in the best darn live blog on the interwebs right here.
R.I.P. Ted Turner… and the Gingerbread Man
Yes, someone made the decision to to have the Gingerbread Man funeral segment tease a couple beats after they paid tribute to a man who changed the television and pro wrestling businesses. It was… not ideal, and through a certain lens could be seen as a(nother) final shot from the victors of the Monday Night Wars. But given Ted Turner was said to have thought Vince McMahon’s “Billionaire Ted” skits to be funny during the aforementioned Wars, I choose to believe he’d have laughed at this whether it was intentional or not.
Not much of note otherwise to the “run down the line-up as wrestlers you mention arrive at VyStar Veterans Memorial Arena in Jacksonville, Florida for tonight’s SmackDown” open. More on GBM’s funeral later.
After WWE’s usual excellent video package recounting the road to the WWE World Heavyweight title clash at the premium live event tonight (May 9) in Tampa, Florida, the challenger Jacob Fatu makes his way to the ring. He doesn’t get too far into his promo about how their elders in the Samoan Dynasty have always seen his opponent tomorrow, Roman Reigns, as the future, but with him, his whole life, they’ve always expressed doubt.
That was when Jimmy and Jey Uso arrived to warn the Samoan Werewolf about their Tribal Chief.
As you can see there, everybody does a fine job there. It’s a shame the YEETs worked against him. Ask Stone Cold, Uce, that’ll happen with uber-over chants. (I say, it’ll happen. Now stop asking me “what?”) The reason it’s a shame is this: if running back The Bloodline is gonna be more than cheap money grab — which is a lot to ask from TKO WWE, I know — we need to get back to addressing the fact that as awesome as it is, Roman’s character is an abusive jerk, and that’s hasn’t been dealt with in a meaningful or traditional pro wrestling way when it comes to the cousins he thinks of as brothers.
It still lingers with Jey, at least. The most chilling warning the twins lay on their other cousin is when Jey says the worst thing the OTC will do to Fatu on Saturday night is “break him down”. Unfortunately, the ‘Ville’s unwillingness to stop YEETing kept that from landing like some of Jey’s lines did back when people were calling for Emmys and posting Marty Scorcese memes about The Bloodline a couple years ago.
Fatu’s response was great, especially the delivery of the closing lines before his catchphrases about how if The Usos get involved at Backlash, oh the former U.S. champ swears to God, he will “burn this whole [expletive deleted] family tree down.”
Gunther attacking the WWE champ Cody Rhodes last Friday after Rhodes beat Ricky Saints gets a recap, then General Manager Nick Aldis is interviewed and says he’ll be speaking with Der Ring General tonight. Saints arrives to complain about being booked to face “QB4” tonight after he faced QB1 last week. He was talking about Matt Cardona, who just happens to be there to say woo woo woo, you know it he plans to teach the upstart a lesson in the ring tonight. He should have admitted that “QB4” was a good burn.Jumping ahead, but Saints won this match later, and it was fine. I’m with Claire on Absolute Ricky (in that I’ve never seen the hype). But like another program we’ll get to in a bit, this technically did what it was supposed to for the former AEW guy it was supposed to help.On the other side of some commercials, Aldis chatted with Fatu and told him to go home and get a good night’s rest (hmmm n/m, he went home). Royce Keys catches him before he goes to deliver a pep talk. After his former enforcer bounced, Solo Sikoa approached Keys to try to recruit him for his rebuild-in-progress MFTs. The man who’ll always be a P-P-P-P-Powerhouse to me gives him a warning based on their run-in last week. Sikoa warns him that he’s running out of chances before his offer turns into a problem for Royce. Decent showing for both men, but it’s hard to find Solo or any group he’s in seriously.
After getting a message from the bedridden Chelsea Green, whose ability to stay on television while hurt is her real super power, Tiffany Stratton successfully defended her Women’s United States championship against Kiana James. But the belt would belong to James if her partner Giulia hadn’t done something so stupid it has to have been intentional to further their split.
This was a solid outing for both women, who seem to have good chemistry. Stratton is getting over impressively as a babyface given her rocky past year, and having her work her way back up the card while focusing on her crowd-pleasing moves was a smart call. James did the WWE Performance Center and her initial trainers (Tyler Breeze and Shawn Spears at Flatbacks, in case players of our daily In-5 Trivia Game want to jot that down) proud, continuing to show why WWE brass are said to be high on her.
A split with Giulia could be seen as a bad sign for someone who was seen by many as a slam dunk WWE superstar. I think the former Stardom main eventer should be fine, provided she didn’t sign for too much money and isn’t planning to refuse a pay cut. Some time off television to return for the heel version of what Stratton’s doing now should work to get her back on the superstardom path.
We’re back at the GBM funeral, and Sami Zayn demands answers from Aldis about the whole thing. The GM basically shrugs and tells him to chill. R-Truth consoles him, but then starts Truthing about the family resemblance between the two gingers and how GBM talked about Sami all the time, causing Zayn to almost have a meltdown. Look, it’s ridiculous, but as long as it gives me Truth making heel SZ steam? I can’t totally hate it.A Fatal Influence hype reel takes us to an interview with their opponents on the show, Alexa Bliss, Charlotte Flair, and Rhea Ripley. The vibes were bad from the start, and before long Bliss had to play peacekeeper for her friend and their teammate for the night. Ruh-roh.Truth finds Damian Priest, and tells his partner he wants to accompany him for his match with Talla Tonga. He knows The MFTs, and wanted to be there for the man he holds gold with, but Priest told him to trust him and stay backstage.
Collecting enemies when you’re supposed to be collecting allies
Guess what? Truth didn’t listen, so we got a babyface version of the same finish we had in the first match of the show. Priest had to save his partner from Tama Tonga and Sikoa when the save he might not have needed went awry, and that allowed Talla to boot him down, throw him back in the ring, and chokeslam him for the upset win.
Nothing wrong with that one, but I already don’t remember it. Business may have picked up afterwards when Keys saved Truth and Priest from the MFT trio afterwards. Royce seems to have had enough of Solo’s crap, so it looks like he’s joining a Samoan story with the champs.
That led to another backstage scene, which led to a match, and since they’re all part of the same angle (at least for one night). So we’re gonna cover them together here, my most egregious departure from the whole chronological order thing I wrote at the top. But I did say “for the most part”. Anyway… when we catch up with Solo and the Tongas later, Tama says Keys is a problem, and doesn’t buy Sikoa’s pitch to continue trying to recruit this year’s Andre the Giant Battle Royal winner. A bit after that, Royce pinned Tama after a good-looking spinning spinebuster in their match. Talla wanted to help out his only other fellow MFT, but Solo told him to let Tama finish what he started alone.
Still find it pretty impossible to buy the MFTs as a serious threat to anyone, but maybe others do? Another case where this program makes sense for a recently-debuted talent on paper, but I don’t think it’s going to do much for anyone in the long run. Breaking up is probably what’s next for Sikoa and his last two guys, unless this is a break-up fake out so they can debut a new member at some point and pull an upset in the process.
As long as it doesn’t hurt Keys, it’s a logical program for him to connect to the audience through.
One last story beat for this one: Shinsuke Nakamura appeared backstage after Tama’s match to needle him about still being an MFT. Talla appeared to threaten him, but Nak wasn’t scared. He’d already done his part to advance the split.
We hear Bob the Gatorade Guy can flat out go
This played out over a couple segments, but we’re gonna talk about here where it’s first segment aired. The Miz and Kit Wilson’s attempt to intimidate Danhausen into forfeiting their match this weekend due to his inability to find a partner back fired. Not because he does have friends like Papa Shango, Curly Man, and Bob, the Gatorade guy. Wilson’s point about the only person who would tag with him gives him an idea, and in lieu of disappearing, he hilariously “zooms” away.
The idea Kit gave him was to clone himself. When the Very Nice One does so after getting appropriately Very Evil lighting, the contraption he’s rigged seems to work at first, prompting Danhausen to dream of world domination/ He says his clone will be ready in 24 hours, but then the machine seems to break. We’re left unsure if someone’s coming out of that box tomorrow, or is our hero will have to move on to Plan C-hausen.
Facile da trovare, difficile da battere
Along with some reminders Gunther came for Undisputed WWE champion Cody Rhodes last Friday, on this week’s show we had a scene in Aldis’ office that was supposed to see Gunther sign his apparently Paul Heyman-negotiated SmackDown contract. Cody Rhodes entered the arena on a monitor in the GM’s office though, and Der Ring General doesn’t do business that way.
Cut to he ring, where Rhodes’ fiery “What do you wanna talk about, Jacksonville?” opening was cut off by Heyman. Cody cut him off to say he knew Gunther was backstage and that he was ready to throw down. Paul E. replied that he had bad news: the favor he owed Gunther was getting him a WWE title shot, but that match isn’t until Clash in Italy on May 31.
Rhodes tries to play mind games with the Hall of Famer, bringing up how all his clients have left and/or hate him. Heyman replies that everyone needs the Wiseman eventually. As ge wakjs away, Gunther charges in from the crowd — the shot of him charging the ring after jumping the barricade is great — for a brawl and a sleeper I thought would work until the WWE champ managed to grab a microphone he could use as a weapon and evcntually fight his way free.
Gunther decided to wait until he’s on European soil, or at least until next week. Cody is Cody with a few cringe-y lines about not sweating Gunther regardless of his resume (take it from someone else who tries to sound hip even though I’m too old and too whitebread to possible be hip, Code-ster. You’re the only one who thinks it sounds cool. Your daughters sure won’t. “I’m easy to find, but hard to beat” is a good spin on “if you want some, come get some”, though. Overall, the these guys sold this well.
I’ve been rolling my eyes at the American Nightmare for a long time now, and heading into this show I was ready to tell you about how WWE’s sapped Gunther’s aura a bit by making him a part-timer/special attraction. But this all worked for me.
Hating Fatal Attraction is Irresistible
After Danhausen almost pushes a ladder onto his fellow free agents and WWE Women’s Tag champ Brie Bella and Paige while they walked backstage — I’ll assume he was getting DNA from the Clones for the tag partner project we discussed above — the champs get in the ring to deliver a basic spiel that reminds us they beat the Irresistible Forces last week, and welcome a fight from The Judgment Day or any other team in the division.
Roxanne! Perez and Liv Morgan weren’t here though, so Fatal Influence were first to interrupt Brie & Paige’s segment. It doesn’t take long for Jacy Jayne to get Duval County jeering her trio. They were here for their match, and suggest the Tag champs rolled out so they can show them how it’s done. The Forces cut them off, with Lash Legend getting her fiance’s chant when she told the recent call-ups to get in line. Her partner Nia Jax adeptly turned that into a diss on Jayne, Fallon Henley, and Lainey Reid right before they jump the champs and take them out relatively easily, but bail after a staredown with Rhea Ripley after she enters for the six-woman tag.
That match was rolling right along heading into its second segment when Jade Cargill pulled Ripley off the apron right as Bliss had countered Jayne’s rolling elbow into the set-up for Sister Abigail. A heel who actually thinks on occasion, Jacy knew what to do. She used her Rolling Encore finisher during the confusion, Alexa wasn’t ready for it this time, and Fatal Attraction’s hot start continued.
Their fire was stolen a bit by the arrival of Cargill’s lackeys Michin and B-Fab. Ripley fought them off alone, but turned into a big boot from the woman she took the WWE Women’s title from at WrestleMania a couple weeks ago.
The crowd wasn’t dead for Cargill and her new Baddies, but they weren’t nearly as into booing them as they were Jayne and her followers. Take that as you will.
It’s their funeral – or – Did you say MOAR CELEBRITIES?!?!
The Gingerbread Man funeral scenes from backstage stretched throughout the show, and came along with video packages which reminded us how much TKO WWE loves generative AI. I only recapped the Sami/Truth bit, because that was the last thing I really liked. Sure, some it was kinda funny. But overall the pushed the gag too far, for too long — and that’s without even getting into the parts that make me sick to my stomach (and I ain’t talking flashbacks to Zayn’s dismemberment act from the previous show).
Guess I should mention, just in case he and Candice LeRae get to do something before they’re released one of these days… in one of the backstage funeral scenes, Johnny Gargano seemed to come out of his stupor a bit when Zayn called him “Johnny Wrestling”. But in true Michigan J. Frog style, the Heart & Soul of NXT was gone again by the time Sami got his wife to come over.
Fast forward and our main event on this three-hour show was Men’s United States champion Trick Williams and his in-ring funeral proceedings for his boy GBM. Like what led up to it, this had it’s moments. The backing Gospel choir was a nice touch, for instance. But even that went on too long (and featured more lifeless, soulless AI images that make me want to take back the praise I gave WWE production earlier) before Zayn busted in during the moment of silence.
Sami spoke for his wrestling people — who aren’t all on the internet, but a lot of us are. He was outraged that this got the final spot on SmackDown, which he says used to mean something. The two-time U.S. champ also said the GBM funeral was beneath the red, white, and blue belt. Complaining about the money Trick Willy’s spent on all this Gingerbread Man nonsense also made sense, even if it maybe made a bunch of us internet folks think about recent budget cuts at TKO WWE. Whatever it stirred in the Florida crowd, that’s where a “Whoop That Trick” chant started,
But then the challenger cut a pretty good babyface promo. When all was said and done, that seemed to be designed to make Williams pause, because that was when Zayn decked him with a cheap shot. Beating the champ down, Sami shoved the belt in Trick’s face while screaming, “You think this is a game? This is my life!” When he held the U.S. strap above his head thinking he was standing tall, we found out that Lil’ Yachty was in the casket-bound costume. The rapper cackled like a madman while using his candy cane like a kendo stick on Zayn, and Sami sold for it, well, like Sami, which is to say in a perfectly convincing-if-slightly-over-the-top pro wrestling way.
The champ was up by then, and hit a Trick Shot on his first big main roster rival to really stand tall before their rematch [Danhausen voice] at Backlash.
It’s just an odd way to end the show, and not just because tomorrow’s a PLE.
How much of the May 8 SmackDown did I like, how much didn’t I like, and how much was fine-to-good but didn’t really move me? Probably something like 35% liked, 30% didn’t, and 35% meh.
The episode probably did a better job of making me interested in the post-Backlash future than Saturday’s event, but they kept me excited for a couple matches (Fatu/Reigns and youknowwhohausen) without having the champ on hand to build to one of them. Gotta tip my hat to them on that.
But even when it comes to the future, I’m concerned about guys I like such as Carmelo Hayes and Ilja Dragunov (as I told you, and given my job should come as little surprise: I’m a somewhat typical “internet fan”) getting even more lost in the shuffle as the show shifts back to two hours soon, and TKO seemingly thinking — perhaps correctly — they can get away with using celebrities as long as they don’t use too many at once.
It all translates to the letter grade equivalent of a low meh.
Tell us what you think, which hopefully isn’t “this man’s an idiot!”
What grade would you give Friday night’s SmackDown?
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