Summer in the Hamptons are off to a rollicking start: Wall Street bonuses were the highest they’ve been in years, sending the real-estate market into a complete frenzy — the median sale price rose 18.3 percent year over year to $2,412,500. Since no one balked at last year’s $400 melon, the same shop owners introduced a $150 grape juice shipped in from Nagano, Japan; in Amagansett, an $80 blueberry pie is already regularly selling out before the weekend’s over. The social calendar is crammed. After a one-year respite, Michael Rubin is back with his extravagant White Party, which will once again clog the streets of Bridgehampton with paparazzi and ambitious social climbers — whom, incidentally, we asked comedians John Early and Kate Berlant to channel on this issue’s cover. We also captured real Hamptons characters out in the wild — among them John Slattery tootling around on his Boston Whaler, Katie Couric working on her pickleball serve, and Donna Karan sipping coffee with some hard-bodied men.
On a recent afternoon in Southampton, Kate Berlant and John Early are channeling a heterosexual Hamptons couple. “We decided that they’re kind of climbers. They’re trying to rise up through the ranks of Hamptons elite,” says Early. “I actually think they’re happily married,” adds Berlant. “In the way that Alex McCord and her husband in season one of RHONY are. They really just fit well together. They both have a certain kind of hunger.”
They disagree briefly over how the couple attained their “soulless, chilling” Hamptons home. “I think both of their parents are rich,” says Berlant. Early ponders this. “I don’t know. I think they might be new money.” “Maybe they’re both,” says Berlant. “I feel like his dad isn’t exorbitantly wealthy but enough where he’s comfortable in a space like that.” Early builds on this: “But not enough to be actually privately secure. There’s a gnawing quality.” Berlant laughs. “His brother is more successful than him. And that’s what motivates his every life choice.” Early’s character was particularly upset by being assigned Toby the donkey to sit on. “I think he felt cucked,” says Early. “I think he probably reserved a full horse. And there was a mistake,” says Berlant. “And he knows it would be undignified ultimately to make the woman sit on a donkey,” adds Early.
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The two have made this jaunt to the Hamptons while promoting Early’s directorial debut, Maddie’s Secret, a Lifetime Movie of the Week–style melodrama he wrote and starred in alongside Berlant about a food influencer ascending the ranks at a Bon Appétit–ish workplace while hiding a serious case of bulimia. “I’ve always dreamt of taking this sketch-comedy instinct in me but making it more cinematic and more emotional,” says Early. “I have wanted to play an ingénue since my early 20s.” Berlant is Deena, Maddie’s best friend and co-worker who’s sexually obsessed with her. It’s a dynamic Early and Berlant play with often in their work, and it’s been “perverted and exaggerated” from their real-life friendship.
They first met in 2012 as fledgling comedians, initially on Facebook and shortly thereafter at a variety show where they both performed. Around the same time, they were cast in a friend’s short film. “I remember getting on the train and going home,” Berlant says, “and then we were texting that night in bed. I remember John texting me, ‘I’ll kill myself if I don’t see you.’” They’ve spent the years since completely entangled personally and professionally — sleeping over at each other’s apartments, co-writing and co-starring in sketches and comedy specials, and supporting each other as they built their own separate careers simultaneously. “It really was the falling-in-love thing of, like, we were just inseparable,” says Berlant. “There wasn’t dating; there wasn’t any coitus. It was just … very lesbian.” “Very lesbian,” confirms Early.
In that sense, playing a happily married couple in the Hamptons came naturally to them. Though both agree that in real life, Berlant would fit in more easily than Early, who, during a break from the shoot, angered a trio of local Hamptonites merely by using the bathroom at a Citarella. (“Because they had to wait in a line? I don’t know,” he says.) “I just think I could gab with the girls at Citarella,” says Berlant. “I could stir shit up and be like, ‘No, she was rude.’” — Rachel Handler
I just like farting around on the Whaler, drinking a beer, and being outside. And while you’re out there, you drop a line in and see if you catch something. My neighbor across the street, he’s got all kinds of gear, and he catches tons of fish. He tells me where to go. I wish I was a better fisherman. I plan on getting better this summer. I just had a rod that I got at a fishing-and-tackle store that doubles as a gas station, Sam’s Auto Service and Mrs. Sam’s Bait & Tackle, but I think it got stolen. It’s not like you leave that somewhere. I own the boat with a guy named Fred Walsh. We bought it together. We never really officially christened it — it doesn’t have a name. We were thinking of calling it The Seanut because it’s a combination of both our dogs’ names. We actually swam off the boat at the end of last summer and then someone said, “Don’t swim there. There’s too many seals there, and there’s sharks there.” But I have the app where you can follow them, all named and tagged. Actually, my wife is in that famous three-part episode of Happy Days where Fonzie jumps the shark. She played Richie’s girlfriend. We’ve been coming to the Hamptons for 20-plus years and bought the house in Springs in 2012. Truthfully, I surf more than I fish, mostly in Montauk. I’m not sure it’s world-class, but neither am I. Unfortunately, the summer is not the best season wavewise, so sometimes it’s cold-water surfing, which I enjoy less the older I get. Anybody who surfs is obsessed with surfboards, and I have too many. My wife looks at me like I’m insane because I’m buying another one. She’s like, “You already have ten of them in the garage.” — As told to Mike Albo
It’s really hard to get your car washed in the Hamptons — I guess everyone is getting theirs privately detailed — but on Montauk Highway there is Victor’s, the sweetest, smallest car wash attached to a gas station. It’s one lane, and you don’t even stop. He does the top of your car and the tires with a mop, then you go through the machine. It’s like 25 bucks. We’ve been coming out since my child was born on hiatus from 30 Rock. We have a little cottage in Amagansett. I’ve watched all the kids grow up together. You can kind of walk up to almost anyone’s bonfire and join in because you’ve probably seen them on the beach. If I’m going to someone’s house, it’s always good to show up with something. Even hydrangeas from a farm stand. My go-to last summer was food baskets from Il Buco. I always go to Flowers by Beth, and I love going to Ganeaux, which has been there for over a decade. This woman who runs the shop sells her own brand of candles that are my go-to every summer, like a ’70s Coppertone scent that brings you right back to your childhood. Balsam Farm Stand is my main spot. In July, you can buy the corn pre-roasted. It’s fantastic. But really you could go to any farm stand out there and be completely delighted and overcharged. One time, I was just driving on some of the back roads and pulled up to the tiniest farm stand, near Wainscott, and Ina Garten was there. I was in awe. I stood back and watched what she bought and then I bought the exact same thing. She bought corn, tomatoes, apples, lots of berries, and — what are those little green beans that look like a corkscrew? I didn’t even know how you cook them, but I bought them because she did. — M.A.
I used to be a Fire Island girl. And at one point, my daughter Gabby said, “Why aren’t the boys wearing clothes?” I said, “Okay, it’s time to go.” I’ve been living in East Hampton for, oh my God, 40 years. I like to be on the bay because nobody’s here. I’m up where the roads are really windy. Nobody could find us in the days before GPS. My husband made me get another house next door to us right before he passed away so I could have my “woo-woos” there. I’ve been doing yoga since I was 16. Now I do Pilates. I go to Lauralee in Sag Harbor. You go in your bodysuit, your leggings, with flats, and you do Sag Harbor. I’ll go to Sagtown Coffee after. I love Lulu, too. Of course, I spend a lot of time at Tutto Caffè in East Hampton. Now there’s a Tutto Mare in Palm Beach too. It’s gorgeous. I was there for two months. But can I just say? I am not a Palm Beach girl. — M.A.
When artists come to stay, we cram everyone upstairs. We go to the beach, and at night we convene for dinner. I like to start when the sun is just setting. The temperature is more pleasant; everyone looks prettier. Then we can go on until one in the morning. The best number for an official gallery-opening dinner party for is 40 to 50 people. You want it to feel like a festival but intimate. What I have learned about hosting is saying “no,” which is hard for me because I am a game dame. We had a dinner that was 85 people, and the food took so long the spread was not so perfectly bountiful. There is only so much capacity to really express your full attention. I love the spirit of family style. I think I got that from Andrew Tarlow. I love big chunks of vegetables, and I usually get them from Amber Waves or these little farmers’ markets we have now in Amagansett. If it’s just with my artist friends, everyone helps clean. One more thing: I use beeswax candles. I’m neurotic about that. It’s a very different kind of flame. It’s not a paraffin flame, and it creates a primal environment. A warm fire. And it smells good. I get them from Camphill Village. They are not cheap, nor should they be. — M.A.
The women I play pickleball with are animals. I think I’m the weakest link. We’re not the ladies who pickle — we are busy. We pickle and then we move on. I would say my secret weapon is probably my serve, especially if I get it in the back corner, which is sometimes hard to return. I’m working on my dinking, and I’m really bad at returning lobs. I use a Joola paddle that has really improved my game. If I need anything sports related, I go to Gubbins in East Hampton. Luckily, I have a court in my backyard. I like to play in the morning, around eight or 8:30, or in the late afternoon. I can’t pickle without my iced coffee. I get that at either Goldberg’s or Red Horse Market. Sometimes I reward myself with an ice-cream cone from Bostwick’s, which has the best soft serve in the Hamptons. But please don’t tell anyone. — M.A.
I have been summering in Sag Harbor for 25 years. I’ve rented the same house for ten years in the hope the owner will sell it to me. I am part of the homeowners association — I pay my dues. Joy Behar lives two blocks away. We shoot The View four days a week, Monday to Thursday, and if we time it correctly, we can leave around 1:30 p.m. and be in Sag by four. The area is called SANS, after the Sag Harbor Hills, Azurest, and Ninevah Subdivisions. It was originally bought by African American teachers, lawyers, doctors, and postal workers beginning in the 1940s. Many of them built their homes from Sears catalogues. I was welcomed walking on the beach by a man named Bill Pickens, whose father was one of the original founders. At one point, a lot of BlackRock money came in, and they tried to build huge mansions that would have blocked water views from those old Sears-catalogue homes. We fought that, and we kept the community looking the way it’s supposed to. It’s special here. In fact, my novel Summer on Sag Harbor is historical fiction about this Black Hamptons that’s hidden, sort of intentionally. — M.A.
Lizzie Tisch: I’ve been hosting a July 3 dinner for probably 15 years. And that invitation went out before Memorial Day. We also have another big party at the end of the summer — we get a pizza truck, a Shake Shack truck, and Mister Softee. My husband, Jon, and I are very big planners — he knows where he’s eating three months from now. In the event that we can’t make something or we regret having said “yes” in the first place, I usually make him cancel.
Mason Rudnick: I blame my parents.
L.T.: I told her to do that. I guess 20 years ago I would have used her as an excuse. But there are multiple things to go to, so I like to make sure people know it’s a seated dinner because if you’re not specific, then all of a sudden you’ve got 12 people leaving your dinner early. Last year, we had just moved into our house after a big five-year project. I thought it’d be so pretty to have the trucks in the driveway and put the two tables outside, and right before, the weather changed. We literally moved two tables of 20 into the barn in 25 minutes. We bought this old barn from a website called the New England Barn Company. They basically have all these old barns they’ll take apart and put on a truck and then you rebuild them yourself with all the original beams, the original floor. It’s super-pretty. We use it as an entertainment space. I love to cast a good dinner party. It’s not like I’m planning the seating at the Met Ball with a giant dry-erase board. My one rule: If you sleep together, you don’t sit together. Dear Annabelle makes adorable place cards that have witty sayings or a theme. If it’s a smaller group, I use the calligrapher Bernard Maisner. But most of the time, it’s just me and my semi-okay handwriting. Jon likes a 45-minute cocktail hour, which I respect. Things move along at a good clip. People know him pretty well, so they know it’s never a late night at the Tisches’. Two years ago for his birthday, three different people bought him a needlepoint pillow that said, “Please Leave by Nine.”
— M.A.
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Production Credits
Portfolio by
Mark Seliger
Styling by
Daniel Edley
Executive Production by
Ruth Levy
Production by
Madi Overstreet
Production Assisting by
Angus Alexander and Stella Santini
Postproduction by
Rachel Crowe and T.J. Huff
Style Assisting by
Caniese Banton
Digi Tech by
Joel Alexander
First Photo Assisting by
Will Foerster
Photo Assisting by
Adison James, Reggie Desilus, Adam Fahlund, and Eric Scott
On the Cover: Kate Berlant and John Early: Hair by Jae-Manuel Cardenas; Makeup by Matin; Grooming by Tory Wells; Wardrobe by HermÈs (Berlant Jacket, Shoes), Loro Piana (Berlant Pants), Dior (Early Jacket, Shirt), Alias Costumes (Early pants, Early shoes, Berlant hat), Celine (Early scarf), Tiffany & Co. (Berlant Jewelry); Special thanks to Joanne Comber-Jimenez, Hamptons Pony at Two Trees Stables
Kate Berlant and John Early: Pool: Hair by Jae-Manuel Cardenas; Makeup by Matin; Grooming by Tory Wells; Prop Styling by Lana Boy; Wardrobe by Gucci (Berlant Dress), Tiffany & Co. (Berlant Jewelry), Michael Kors (Early Suit), Louis Vuitton (Early Shirt), Celine (Early scarf); Special thanks to Dawn Bodenchak, Senior Global Real-Estate Adviser at Sotheby’s International Realty. Bike: Hair by Jae-Manuel Cardenas; Makeup by Matin; Grooming by Tory Wells; Prop Styling by Lana Boy; Wardrobe by Gucci (Berlant clothing, shoes, bag), David Yurman (Berlant jewelry), Ferragamo (Early clothing, shoes), Ray-Ban (Early glasses)
John Slattery: Grooming by Danny DiMauro; Special thanks to Chris Shields
Jane Krakowski: Hair by Michael Silva; Makeup by Todd Harris Wolf; Wardrobe by Miu Miu (Swimsuit, Apron), Giuseppe Zanotti (Shoes), Tiffany & Co. (Earrings)
Donna Karan: Hair by Sally Hershberger; Makeup by Berta Camal; Models: Tony Marzano and Shomari Francis; Wardrobe by Urban Zen (Karan), Bottega Veneta (Marzano Pants), Dolce & Gabbana (Francis Swimsuit)
Galerie Sardine: Hair by Peter Gray; Makeup by Kento Utsubo; Wardrobe by Stone Island (Bradley jacket), Louis Vuitton (Kronner), Bottega Veneta (Eckstein Shirt); Food Styling by Chris Kronner; Special thanks to Amber Waves Farm
Katie Couric: Wardrobe by Ralph Lauren (Clothes, Shoes), David Yurman (Jewelry), Omega (Watch)
Sunny Hostin: Hair by Lauren Berrones; Makeup by Kento Utsubo; Wardrobe by Ralph Lauren Collection (Clothing), David Yurman (Necklace), Cartier (Bracelets)
Lizzie Tisch and Mason Rudnick: Hair by Xavier Merat; Makeup by Jessica Vetri; Wardrobe by Prada (Tisch and Rudnick clothing), Tiffany & Co. (Tisch and Rudnick Jewelry), Alias Costumes (Trooper uniform), Ray-Ban (Trooper sunglasses)
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