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Sandra Bullock has said she feared developing “a little bit of a mental issue” if she continued acting while caring for her late partner Bryan Randall.
Randall, Bullock’s partner of eight years, died in 2023 after being diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis in 2020, an incurable nervous system disease in which the brain gradually loses its connection with the muscles.
Speaking about his death on Monday’s episode of the SmartLess podcast, Bullock admitted that she was concerned for her mental health while juggling filming the 2022 action movie The Lost City with caring for Randall and looking after her two children, Louis, 16, and Laila, 12.
“When Bryan got sick, after Lost City, I was like, ‘I can’t.’ I thought I was going to have a little bit of a mental issue. I was like, ‘I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,’” she said.
The actor explained that when she returned to the movie set in the Dominican Republic for reshoots, she was exhausted from her caregiving responsibilities.
Bryan Randall and Sandra Bullock were together for eight years before his death in 2023 (Getty)
Sandra Bullock has said she feared developing ‘a little bit of a mental issue’ if she continued acting while caring for her late partner Bryan Randall (Getty)
“I came for the reshoot on a couple of hours’ sleep and I remember walking in and everyone went, ‘What, what, did you not sleep?!’” she recalled.
“I looked so bad, and when I say so bad, like my face, it was horrific. I could maybe manage four hours of the reshoot and they were like, ‘Can you just give us [another take]?’ I was like, ‘I can’t, I can’t, I’ve got to go home.’ And I went home.”
The star continued: “The amount of money they had to spend to fix my face to match the rest of the film digitally. It was a horror show.”
The 62-year-old said she then decided to take a break from acting, adding: “So I did that and then I just pulled the plug. I said I can’t anymore. I have nothing to give right now. Nothing. Zero.”
Randall, a model-turned-photographer, met Bullock in 2015 after she hired him to photograph her son Louis’ fifth birthday party. They were together for eight years.
Bullock revealed that Randall had requested she keep his diagnosis private, but she found it isolating not to talk to anyone about it apart from telling her sister, Gesine Bullock-Prado.
Bullock said she told herself, “Oh, I can handle that. I can be quiet.” But caring for Randall while raising her two young children during the pandemic ultimately became “a trifecta that was pretty dark,” she said.
“I started grieving Bryan four years before he passed. Something in me said, ‘Start grieving now’ because I knew I would be the caregiver,” the Practical Magic 2 star continued.
Sandra Bullock was filming the 2022 movie ‘The Lost City’ while caring for her partner Bryan Randall (AFP/Getty)
“I could see that the bright eyes that I knew – there was something that had shifted. It was a traumatic diagnosis.
“My person left a lot earlier than the body left. I don’t think I ever dealt with that until after he passed, because you’re just on this treadmill,” she said.
Bullock gave further insight into the care that Bryan received, sharing that she hired four male nurses to provide round-the-clock help for him, and hired a children’s therapist specializing in dealing with terminal illness and grief to work with her kids.
“The guys, they were like four big brothers in my kitchen and we became students at the same time,” she said, explaining that she separated part of her house for Randall to receive his care, and that she required all visitors to take multiple Covid-19 tests.
“I found four men who were strong enough – Bryan was 6ft 2in,” she explained of the nurses, adding that finding the right people while keeping Randall’s diagnosis a secret was “the most covert CIA operation known to man.”
“The understanding that I now have of caregiving… those who are in the caregiving position, I was left alone. I didn’t know what to do; I didn’t know who to call. I am so grateful to them,” she said.