He Never Hits His Mark” – Why Jennifer Aniston’s Rescue Dog Norman Flunked Out Of “Friends

“He Never Hits His Mark” – Why Jennifer Aniston’s Rescue Dog Norman Flunked Out Of “Friends”

>> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
FOLKS, YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT FROM
FILMS SUCH AS “HORRIBLE BOSSES,” “WE’RE THE MILLERS,”
AND A LITTLE TV SHOW BY THE NAME OF “FRIENDS.”
SHE NOW RETURNS IN THE FOURTH SEASON OF
“THE MORNING SHOW.” >> I’M SO SORRY.
I’M SO DISTRACTED. I’M REALLY DISTRACTED.
I WISH BRADLEY WAS MY ONLY PROBLEM RIGHT NOW.
>> OH, OKAY, WOW. ALL RIGHT.
DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT? >> I LOVE TO TALK ABOUT IT.
>> LET’S TALK. >> I JUST CAN’T TALK ABOUT IT.
LEGALLY I CAN’T TALK ABOUT IT. SO…
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? THERE IS AUDIO ME SAYING
SOMETHING THAT I DID NOT SAY. BUT I CAN’T PROVE THAT I DIDN’T
SAY IT. AND IF I DID SAY IT, IT WOULD BE
SO, SO BAD IF I DID AND ABSOLUTELY NO ONE BELIEVES ME.
NONE OF THEM BELIEVE ME. I CAN’T PROVE IT.
IT’S NOT REAL. AND I’M KIND OF LOSING MY
[BLEEP] MIND. >> YOU’RE BEING GHASTLY.
>> YES. >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BACK
TO “THE LATE SHOW,” JENNIFER ANISTON.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪
>> Jennifer: WOW. ♪ ♪
>> Jennifer: WOW. [CHEERING]
>> Stephen: HAVE A SEAT. >> Jennifer: OH, THAT’S REALLY
NICE FEELING, ISN’T IT? >> Stephen: IT IS.
WELCOME BACK. >> Jennifer: THANK YOU.
DAMN YOU AGAIN. >> Jennifer: IT’S BEEN A WHILE.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR HELPING US GET THE DOGS ADOPTED.
>> Jennifer: ANY TIME YOU NEED HELP WITH THOSE ADOPTIONS.
YOU JUST HAVE TO HOLD THE PUPPIES.
>> Stephen: I THINK THAT’S WHY THE AUDIENCE IS HERE.
THOSE ARE ALL RESCUE DOGS. I UNDERSTAND THAT IF SOMETHING
NEAR AND DEAR TO YOUR HEART. >> Jennifer: VERY NEAR AND
DEAR. >> Stephen: TELL ME WHO THESE
FELLAS ARE. >> Jennifer: THAT IS LORD
CHESTERFIELD. >> Stephen: WHICH ONE?
>> Jennifer: THE WHITE ONE, THE REGAL ONE.
THAT’S CLYDE. CLYDE THINKS HE’S AS BIG AS HIM.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU ALWAYS HAD RESCUE DOGS?
>> Jennifer: HAVE ALWAYS HAD RESCUE DOGS.
MY FIRST DOG WAS NORMAN, WHOSE NAME IS TATTOOED ON MY FOOT.
NORMAN I GOT FROM THE SHOW “FRIENDS.”
>> Stephen: YOU GOT DOGS? >> Jennifer: HE WAS ON
“FRIENDS.” I’D NEVER HAD A DOG.
>> Stephen: THE DOG WAS ON “FRIENDS?”
YOU KNOW I AUDITIONED FOR FRIENDS THAT I NEVER GOT ON.
>> Jennifer: WHICH PART? JOEY?
>> Stephen: A GUEST, DAY PLAYER.
>> Jennifer: HOW ON EARTH DID YOU NOT GET ON “FRIENDS.”
>> Stephen: I AM NOT GOOD. >> Jennifer: NORMAN WAS ON AN
EPISODE OF FRIENDS, THE ONE WHERE JOEY AND CHANDLER BABYSIT
ROSS’S BABY WHOSE NAME I CAN’T REMEMBER.
BEEN. THEY LOST THE BABY, THEY LEFT
THE BABY ON A BUS. YES.
>> Stephen: I DIDN’T SEE THIS EPISODE.
>> Jennifer: THEY LEAVE THE BABY ON THE BUS, THEY’RE RUNNING
THROUGH NEW YORK CITY STREETS TRYING TO FIND THE BUS.
AS THEY ARE RUNNING THROUGH THE STREETS, NEW YORK HAS THESE
WONDERFUL DOG WALKERS WITH 20 DOGS ON LEASHES.
NORMAN WAS ONE OF THOSE DOGS. SO I SAID TO THE ANIMAL TRADERS,
HE SAID IF THERE’S EVER A DOG THAT YOU WANT TO GIVE UP FOR
ADOPTION OR YOU KNOW OF A DOG THAT IS AVAILABLE FOR ADOPTION,
I’M LOOKING. THEY SAID WE DO ACTUALLY HAVE A
DOG WHO WE ARE GOING TO RETIRE BECAUSE HE’S VERY STUBBORN.
DOESN’T DO WHAT WE TELL HIM AND NEVER HITS HIS MARK.
AND SO RETIRED HIM. THEN HE BECAME MINE.
HE WAS ONLY ONE. HE WAS ONLY 1 YEARS OLD.
>> Stephen: THAT’S NOT A GREAT SALES JOB.
WE’VE GOT NORMAN. HE HAS RABIES, LIGHT RABIES.
>> Jennifer: THE FLAW IN THE ZEN GARDEN.
>> Stephen: SPEAKING OF DOGS, YOU’VE GOT A BLOCKBUSTER.
YOU’VE GOT A NEW BOOK INSPIRED BY CLYDE “COOKING WITH CLYDEO.”
ARE THESE RECIPES FOR DOGS, BY DOGS?
PLEASE TELL ME NOT OF DOGS. WHAT IS THE BOOK?
>> Jennifer: IT’S NOT THE LAST.
YOU CAN MAKE IT ANYTHING YOU WANT.
“COOKING WITH CLYDEO.” INSPIRED BY CLYDE.
IT GOES TO A ORGANIZATION THAT’S SUPPORTS RESCUES.
IT’S FUN RECIPES FOR PARENTS TO MAKE WITH THEIR KIDS.
THEY ARE VERY SIMPLE. ENCHILADA CUPS, BANANA PANCAKES.
ENCHILADA CUPS. >> Stephen: I DID NOT KNOW
ABOUT ENCHILADA CUPS. >> Jennifer: YOU CUT THE
TORTILLA AND THEN HE PUT THE CHEESE, MANY ENCHILADA CUPS.
>> Stephen: IT’S THAT SIMPLE. >> Jennifer: IT THAT SIMPLE.
THE NEW SEASON OF “THE MORNING SHOW” STARTS —
>> Jennifer: THE 17TH, SEPTEMBER 17TH, NEXT WEEK.
[APPLAUSE] LAST TIME I SAW YOU WAS FOR THE
FIRST SEASON. 2019.
>> Stephen: THAT WAS THE FIRST SEASON?
HERE’S THE THING. IN THE FIRST SEASON, YOU GUYS
GO, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS DISEASE THAT’S ON A CRUISE SHIP?
AND THEN WE GOT COVID. >> Jennifer: THAT’S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: LAST SEASON PART OF THE STORY LINE AND THIS WAS
TWO YEARS AGO NOW, LAST SEASON OF BILLIONAIRE SENT TV ANCHORS
INTO SPACE. TWO YEARS BEFORE JEFF BEZOS SENT
GAYLE KING UP. >> Jennifer: YES.
IN FACT WE ALL READ THAT SCRIPT AND WE SAID WE EACH OTHER, SO A
BILLIONAIRE HAS A ROCKET SHIP THAT WILL GO INTO SPACE AND WE
ARE GOING TO LET ONE OF OUR ANCHORS GO UP ON IT.
>> Stephen: STARK STARING MADNESS.
>> Jennifer: A LITTLE FAR-FETCHED.
>> Stephen: WELL. THIS SEASON IS COMPLETELY
FAR-FETCHED. COMPLETELY UNBELIEVABLE.
IT’S ABOUT A BIG CORPORATE MEDIA MERGER AND A TROUBLED NEWS
DIVISION. NO ONE’S GOING TO BELIEVE THAT.
NO ONE’S GONNA LOOK BELIEVE THAT PRESSURE.
WHAT DO YOU SMOKE BEFORE YOU COME UP WITH THIS IDEA?
>> Jennifer: I’M NOT SMOKING IT.
SOMEBODY IS. OUR WRITERS ARE MIRACULOUS.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS — THE FIRES, THE MERGERS.
BILLIONAIRES. IT’S A LOT.
CRYSTAL BALL. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK. WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
JENNIFER ANISTON, EVERYBODY. STICK AROUND.

Superstar Jennifer Aniston adopted her dog Norman after he was fired from his gig on “Friends.” Stick around for more with Jennifer Aniston and catch the premiere of the new season of “The Morning Show” next Wednesday on AppleTV+.

#Colbert #Comedy #JenniferAniston #TheMorningShow #AppleTV #StephenColbert #TheLateShow

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