Last week, 21-year-old American tennis player Coco Gauff lost the Australian Open in a brutal 1-6, 2-6 defeat to Elina Svitolina, Ukraine, in the quarterfinals. Gauff was ranked No. 3 in the world, her opponent at No. 12.
Understandably, she was frustrated with her performance in that match, especially after playing well in the first four rounds. And, well, you might’ve seen the video of her smashing her racket off the court after her match .
That video circled around the internet how I circle the parking lots to try and find a spot at Schallenkamp. When it eventually came across my TikTok feed, I felt sad for her. But when I opened the comments—I need to stop doing that—not everyone felt the same.
Some commenters said it was unprofessional even if she didn’t realize there was a camera. They commented that she should just practice more and play better.Others left racist and sexist remarks targeted toward Gauff
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“I tried to go somewhere where they wouldn’t broadcast it, but obviously, they did. So, yeah, maybe some conversations can be had because I feel like at this tournament the only private place we have is the locker room,” Gauff said.
I was seriously disturbed by the amount of people who believe that as a person in the public eye, Gauff’s privacy in that vulnerable moment was not deserved. That, as a celebrity, she consented to trade her private life for fame.
This is not a sentiment unique to her.
It seems the general public believes they are entitled to the lives of celebrities outside of their work.
Who did they go on a date with last night? What is their sexuality, are they gay? Do they have kids? What are their names? Why don’t they post family photos? Do you think they have some sort of health condition? Are they gaining weight? Are they losing weight? Did you see that they unfollowed their coworker the other day? What happened?
It’s disgustingly parasocial.
One recent example that comes to mind is the online drama in the “Heated Rivalry” fandom, where fans speculated about whether or not actors Connor Storrie and François Arnaud were together.
Instagram stalkers thought the two posted too many photos with each other and started to speculate that maybe they were together. Further, they began to bash 40-year-old Arnaud because he is 15 years older than Storrie, who is 25. They called him a predator despite having no concrete evidence that their relationship was anything but platonic.
Some fans even started riding the hate train because they thought that Storrie and his co-star Hudson Williams should be a couple; neither of them have specified their sexuality publicly.
Something similar happened to Kit Conner after the release of “Heartstopper” in 2022. Fans harassed and pressured Conner to confirm his sexuality before he was ready to; he was 18.
Further, fans think that they are owed pictures, videos, shoutouts to their friends and likes and comments on their fan posts, often invading the online and real life boundaries of celebrities and invading their privacy.
Chappel Roan recently received backlash for simply setting boundaries with fans. In the late 2010s, a fan approached Rami Malek, already recording with their phone before asking “can you say hi to my friends?” He said no, but the video got posted anyway.
Like Chappel Roan, Malek received backlash for the video even though his boundaries were being crossed. It’s always the same argument: celebrities should expect this. Fans deserve to get pictures and videos and talk to their favorite celebrities because after all, they wouldn’t be famous without fans.
All of that may sound reasonable to some. However, those ideas perpetuate the very parasocial relationships fans have with celebrities. The reciprocity in personal relationships leads fans to believe that they need to receive something personal from these one-sided relationships.
The thing is, there is nothing personal about parasocial relationships.
The tradeoff isn’t fame and fortune for giving up their personal life to the general public. The real tradeoff is fame and fortune for their work, just like any other job. We get entertainment, and they get paid for it.
People need to ground themselves and realize that celebrities are famous because they act well, sing well, play well, etc, not because they share their entire lives with fans. They are real people and don’t owe you anything else.