Late-night hosts had a field day with Donald Trump‘s lengthy, fear-mongering State of the Union address. The rambling speech saw the president speaking to lawmakers for 108 minutes on Tuesday, breaking the record he set last year for the longest speech ever delivered to Congress.
Jimmy Kimmel Live and The Late Show both ran special episodes to respond to Trump’s address, with Jimmy Kimmel declaring, “What a speech it wasn’t.”
“The theme of tonight’s speech was all foreigners are murderers,” Kimmel recounted. “And Trump said zero illegal aliens have been allowed into the United States on his watch, but the door is always open to those who come in legally to be his next wife. So that’s something. He bragged about DEI. He bragged about kicking two million people off food stamps. It was like a Christmas message from the Grinch.”
“When you ramble incoherently for two hours is that technically still a speech or does it at some point become a conniption fit?” Kimmel wondered, adding, “The speech went on so long Kristi Noem‘s dog shot itself.”
After playing a few clips from the address, Kimmel offered his own take on the current state of the country.
“Here’s the real State of the Union,” Kimmel said. “We have a nut job wannabe king who’s doing everything he can to censor opinions he doesn’t want to hear. He has his goons arresting, incarcerating, and killing American citizens. He’s cut funding for cancer research at children’s hospitals while he rakes in literally billions of dollars for himself and his family. He’s coming after our right to vote. He’s protecting pedophiles and won’t explain it. He’s lining the pockets of billionaires, all while neglecting the sick, the poor, and the hungry in the name of Jesus by the way.”
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert delivered a live monologue following the speech, joking that he “dropped an edible and strapped in” to watch.
“According to Trump’s team the official theme of the speech was ‘America at 250: Strong, Prosperous, and Respected,’” Colbert explained. “Though if you have to say you’re strong, prosperous, and respected it kind of feels like you’re not.”
Colbert noted that Trump arrived at the address “looking a little tired, but his hair was nice and fluffy.” “Personally, I think he could have kept his head in the cotton candy machine a little bit longer,” the host said.
Jimmy Fallon briefly commented on the State of the Union on The Tonight Show, noting that Trump’s speech focused on “his major accomplishments.” “And when those eight seconds were up he just riffed for an hour and a half,” Fallon quipped.
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He added, “It was basically two hours of Trump telling us how great he is. I feel like we’ve been getting that State of the Union address every day since he took office.”