My dog’s party was a huge hit. Thank you for asking.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just keep rolling. You’ll catch up.
Tomorrow is Rocky’s official “Gotcha Day.” A whole year already since we brought him home from the rescue! I’ve decided to celebrate his gotcha day instead of his birthday every year because I don’t know when his birthday is — just that he’ll be 2 years old sometime between last month and May or June, maybe?
So, yes, being the tremendously extra dog mom that I am, I threw a party for him on Sunday at the Urban Dog Bar. They made him a cake and everything.
I mean, would ya just look at this happy fella?!
If you live in the Nashville area and you haven’t been to the Urban Dog Bar, you must. Unless you hate joy and puppies and good times being had by all.
You get to drink a beer (or whatever your beverage of choice) while dozens of dogs just run around and play to their hearts’ content. The happiest place on earth. Like Disney World, except you don’t have to take out a second mortgage to go there.
Welcome to Tuesday Nightcaps — the one with Sydney Sweeney kicking balls, “fascists” smacking balls and burger chain bosses battling on social media. We’re all over the place today.
But first, a couple of updates from my world:
I know I’m late to this party, but my husband and I started watching Paradise on Hulu. Holy hell, what a show. We binged the whole first season over the weekend and started season 2 last night. I cannot recommend it enough.I’m thinking about an impromptu trip to Boston next month. I haven’t been there since 2017. Send me your recommendations for must-visit places and must-have foods.I’m now less than four weeks away from OUTLAST. In case you missed that particular Nightcaps, OUTLAST is the 18.6-mile trail race I stupidly signed up for in a brief moment of delusional confidence. I’m still not entirely sure I’ll survive it, but shoutout to ‘Caps reader Indy Daryl for the tips and the encouraging Strava messages throughout my training. Now, if I can just get Aaron Judge to give me one of those signature, high-energy, motivational speeches on the morning of the race, I should be all set!
There’s no stopping us now. Let’s do some Nightcaps.
Sydney Sweeney Shows Off Her Soccer Skills
Lest you think Sydney Sweeney’s only skill is slinging her boobs around for brand deals (relax, white knights — just jokes), I’ve got news for you: she’s not awful at soccer.
Sydney was in Lisbon over the weekend to watch the Portuguese club Sporting CP take on Estoril. Why? I haven’t the foggiest. Maybe she’s filming a movie. Or trying to sell them lingerie.
Or maybe Sydney’s just a big fan of obscure soccer teams. I don’t know. Regardless, the internet was impressed with her dribbling skills.
Pretty bold of her to wear her GREAT JEANS, though. The ones that promote the Third Reich.
Speaking of…
Stop Golfing, You Despicable Fascist
Do you enjoy hitting the links on the weekends? Eighteen holes with the boys while you enjoy the sunshine and a few adult beverages?
Well, I regret to inform you that you are literally Hitler.
At least according to this loon on TikTok named Anna Nicole Kris. Actually, I like Anna. She’s a nutjob, but this video had me rolling. I don’t know if she meant to be funny, but she succeeded.
“Using up all the water! Using up all the land! Getting f*cked up with your bros to talk business on a course!” The worst people she’s ever met in her life play golf all the time.
“Why play golf when you can just go f*ck yourself?”
That last line really got me. Incredible stuff. Also, new term just dropped:
fashy — adjective: the state of being fascist (see also: literally anything enjoyed by anyone with right-leaning political views, according to leftists crashing out on social media)
I think we’ve all learned an important lesson here from Anna. If you’re going to emotionally spiral over the absolute dumbest things imaginable, at least make it quotable and entertaining.
Unlike this account, who made a whole educational PowerPoint about how Pilates is a “red pill dog whistle.”
Not that any of this should surprise you. Leftists have been arguing for years that exercise is a far-right extremist activity.
If you don’t believe me, check out TIME Magazine’s masterpiece, “The White Supremacist Origins of Exercise”. Or “Getting fit is great – but it could turn you into a rightwing jerk” by The Guardian, which explores “the dark side to wellness.”
For what it’s worth, though, that guy from Love is Blind (see above powerpoint) was a total chud.
Fast Food Burger Wars
On the way to my dog’s party on Sunday, we spotted a Hardee’s billboard on I-24.
Tennessee Flavor, Not California Hype.
Apparently, the burger chain also known as Carl’s Jr. has its pickles in a twist because Nashville has In-N-Out Burger now. And needless to say, everyone is really stoked about In-N-Out, and no one cares about Hardee’s.
Admittedly, I don’t eat a lot of fast food. Or any, really. I used to indulge in the occasional late night, post-bar burger back in my youth (read: my 20s), but these days it’s tough to reconcile my desire for greasy food from a bag with my desire to look good naked.
It’s a cross we all bear.
But even I know that not one single person is getting stoked about going to Hardee’s. That’s the stop you make on a long road trip through rural Georgia when there’s literally no other food on the exit. Plus, this “Tennessee” flavor they speak of on the billboard doesn’t even make sense. Hardee’s was founded in North Carolina and then merged with California-based Carl’s Jr.
You’re fooling no one, Mr. Hardee. Nothing Tennessee about you.
But while we’re talking fast food burgers, McDonald’s just released its newest product — “Big Arch.” Now when I say product, I’m simply quoting the Mickey D’s CEO, who is so much of a LinkedIn business robot that he can’t even refer to his food as food. Or sandwich. Or burger.
He posted a video of himself taste testing the Big Arch on social media, and folks had a heyday in the comments. The post comes off more like a hostage video. Like someone pointed a camera at him and said “pretend you love this sandwich or we’ll murder your whole family and kick your dog.”
WATCH:
I will hand it to the McDonald’s admins, though. They leaned into it.
More like “take a reluctant nibble.”
Burger King also seized the moment, re-posting a video of their president, Tom Curtis, actually looking like he enjoyed scarfing down a Whopper.
Not to be controversial, but if I had to pick a favorite fast food burger, it would be… Steak & Shake.
And not just because they’re all no-artificial-coloring, beef-tallow MAHA die-hards now. Back in my high school days, a steakburger (with the pickles sliced the long way), shoestring fries with a side of cheese and a vanilla shake absolutely slapped.
If You Didn’t Know, Now You Know…
Someone translated the opening lyrics to “Circle of Life” from The Lion King to English, and they are NOT what I expected.
Watch the video on the second slide. I’m not sure if I’ve ever laughed harder at a social media post than I did at this one.
📩 Email: amber.harding@outkick.com
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OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.