The press blurb claims it is based on an original idea. Ha! Aside from The Hunger Games it throws in tactical alliance-forming (The Traitors), contestants squealing with delight as they arrive at their “luxury” accommodation (Big Brother, Love Island), stupidly self-aggrandising statements (The Apprentice), results being delivered with dramatic pauses as we learn “the first player safely going through to the next round is…” (Strictly), and various emotional back stories (every reality show in history).
It takes an age to get to the actual game because the producers are desperate to make the players into characters. “Yeah, I love sex,” says Shelley, the aforementioned septuagenarian, who says she was recently chatted up by a 32-year-old. Good for you, Shelley, but what does that have to do with this gameshow? Chris, a marketing director, informs us: “I will always back myself. Put me against Usain Bolt in a race, I’m gonna win that race.” No, Chris, you’re not.