After decades in Hollywood, Heather Graham says she doesn’t need help with intimate scenes.
PublishedMarch 29, 2026 3:20 PM EDT•UpdatedMarch 29, 2026 3:20 PM EDT
FacebookTwitterEmailCopy Link
Gwyneth Paltrow isn’t the only actress with an accomplished career under her belt who doesn’t need to be given notes on how to perform in a sex scene. Heather Graham also doesn’t need any help in that department.
We’re coming up on 30 years, thank you very much, since Boogie Nights was released. That’s just one of the roles where she’s been called upon to pretend to do it on camera. She can handle it, and it’s about time Hollywood showed her some respect.
Heather Graham attended the pre-party reception for ‘They Will Kill You’ during the 2026 SXSW Conference and Festival on March 17, 2026, in Austin, Texas. (Photo by Rick Kern/Getty Images for Warner Bros. Pictures)
Graham, 56, doesn’t need the extra set of eyes on her. She doesn’t need any notes from intimacy coordinators, and she’s had some awkward moments having a random person in the room staring at her “pretending you have sex,” she told US Weekly.
“I know that they have a beautiful intention, and they really want to help and protect actors,” she said. “But as the actor, sometimes I’m like, ‘Can you just get all these people out of the room?’”
Imagine thinking you have anything at all to offer Heather Graham when it comes to shooting a sex scene. You have to be completely out of your mind to do something like that, but as she points out, it does happen.
Heather Graham Has Been Doing This Longer Than Some Crew Members Have Been Alive
“One time, I had an intimacy coordinator, and they started directing me on, like, how to have sex in a scene,” Graham told US Weekly.
“They were like, ‘When you do this, you can do this.’ And I was like, ‘You’re not the director, OK? I’m not asking for notes on how to have sex in the scene. I just felt, like, ‘Shut up.’”
She added, “I’m like, ‘You can just tell this to the director… because I don’t want to have two different people directing me.’ It’s confusing.”
The bottom line is, get out of the way and let her work. You’re not helping her process and in some cases you’re making it much more difficult.
Graham’s most recent movie, They Will Kill You, is an example of that. She was paired up with an intimacy coordinator who wasn’t even alive when she played Rollergirl.
“I just did this other horror movie, and there was this adorable intimacy coordinator. She was in her 20s, super sweet. We were doing this scary scene, and I felt like I had to take care of her,” Graham said.
“She’s like, ‘This is really disturbing.’ And I’m like, ‘I know, I’m sorry,’” she adds with a laugh. “It’s kind of awkward.”
It’s more than kind of awkward, it’s counterproductive. Graham admits the intimacy coordinators might help younger actors, but for her, she doesn’t need a bunch of extra people taking the air out of her performance.
I can’t believe it needs to be said, but evidently it does. Heather Graham knows how to do a sex scene.