Youtube star Jesse Ridgway and wife Ashley face backlash and death threats after revealing they terminated a pregnancy after a Down Syndrome diagnosis
Posted by Upstairs_Cup9831
Youtube star Jesse Ridgway and wife Ashley face backlash and death threats after revealing they terminated a pregnancy after a Down Syndrome diagnosis
Posted by Upstairs_Cup9831
29 Comments
Anyone sending death threats to these people automatically makes them a worse person than them in my opinion
I am praying that at least this entire miserable situation leads to a few more people understanding what is and is not eugenics
Replying to them with picture of their own kids is disgusting. They obviously wanted to have a baby and are heartbroken…. But they made the decision , at the end of the day they are the parents thay will need to take care of that human forever. Everyone giving them their opinions only types a couple of words on a phone or PC and then go about their day.
Being pro choice means you support the right to choose, regardless of if you would make the same choice yourself. If you don’t, you aren’t pro choice
People with disabilities deserve to have lives, yes absolutely. But pro choice people believe that if a woman is not ready to care for a child, she shouldn’t have to. How does the right to decide change suddenly when the child is disabled?
So we can’t have a open and honest conversation about this issue without people being attacked
It’s their child, why is everyone acting as If its their bussiness?
brave of them to be open about this it happens more often than we think and it’s ultimately an individual choice albeit a very difficult and personal one.
My cousin has* DS and I love him with my whole heart. I also see how taxing the things that go along with it are and how much it took away time from his brother (two years older) because they consistently had appointments for his therapies and catering to his unique needs. His family adores him and wouldn’t change a thing.
At the same time, we cannot assume everyone is ready for that level of care and commitment, especially if they have other children with the needs any child has. It’s a position I cannot imagine being in and I can’t say I’d do anything differently. It’s not my choice to make and it’s also not my choice to judge. I wish them peace and healing and maybe given the universe to not share it as widely next time. although the burden of not shaming them isn’t on them, it could prevent additional heartache at a time they’re already struggling. Nobody should feel like they have to keep something quiet that they shouldn’t be ashamed about.
I’m so sorry they had to go through this. Losing a wanted pregnancy is devastating.
In their shoes, I would do the same. People have replied to this post with positivity about kids with Down Syndrome, and while that is great, it is only one end of the spectrum. You never know what you will get. A client of mine had a baby with DS and he went through multiple heart and GI surgeries before dying at 6 months old. He never left the NICU. While he was very loved, I can’t imagine how painful his little life must have been.
I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to come to this decision. It’s not for anyone to pass judgement on them, they’re already going through a hard time as it is.
This is probably a topic far too complex for what should be a light hearted pop culture sub but all I’ll say is that each situation should be treated individually and I personally believe if you know you’re not going to be able or willing as parents to provide a child with complex needs the kind of intense love and support they will need for probably their whole life, it would be a cruelty to bring them into what will almost certainly be a difficult world for them. That unborn baby will be entirely reliant on these parents, it’s imperative they be willing and able to provide the support they need for a happy, safe and fulfilling life.
It is a totally reasonable stance to believe that it is wrong or immoral to knowingly bring a life into the world that will never be able to live independently. I hope they find peace and healing from this.
I have no idea who these people are, but I support them and wish them healing as they move forward. Terminating a wanted pregnancy would be incredibly painful, and the last thing they need is this vitriol directed at them.
This woman is free to terminate any pregnancy she wants for any reason.
I personally wouldn’t want to birth a child who would require an intensive level of lifelong assistance, particularly considering that said child would most likely outlive me.
This is why thousands of families suffer this deeply personal tragedy in silence. For every person loudly proclaiming providing 24h care to a profoundly disabled child is an amazing life, there are others – not just parents, but siblings as well – secretly wish they had a different life. Going through what they did is not only devastating but also a profoundly lonely experience because most people know they will be attacked if they say anything.
I am a a healthy adult born as a healthy child but if my mother needed to not have me in order to have a better life then it’s not like I would have ever known the difference.
The first comment is a person venting about how horrible it is, then telling them they’re wrong for not choosing this. Fuck that person.
So there’s people willing to put up with thousands of dollars in medical bills and even worse, emotional turmoil your entire life, and that means they should do it too?
My uncle had Down’s Syndrome and I loved him dearly. I can’t say 100% that I wouldn’t do the exact same thing if I was in their shoes. My uncle was lucky, especially for being someone born with a disability in the 50’s, he didn’t have a lot of other health complications. But that’s not guaranteed for any kid with Down’s Syndrome and I don’t want to force a child to live a life filled with pain and never ending surgeries.
I don’t know why they chose to share this but I’m glad they did.
Abortion isn’t some shadowy, shameful secret. It’s a medical procedure. A medical procedure like any other and a personal choice. It should be treated as such, discussed as such. It helps de-stigmatize it and detangle it from the patriarchal, oppressive politicization of the procedure. It educates and encourages people to think critically instead of dogmatically. It frees women.
I’m pro choice….which means pro letting women make their own choice? Wtf is wrong with these people.
When my aunt was pregnant with my cousin they discovered the baby was likely to have severe intellectual and developmental disabilities and my aunt chose to proceed with the pregnancy. My family celebrated her decision and lauded her as a selfless and compassionate parent.
But being a “good person” sometimes isn’t enough. Her marriage fell apart. Her career was over as she was now a full time caretaker. Her other children suffered because she didn’t have time for them and they spent their childhoods in therapy/doctor’s office waiting rooms going from appointment to appointment for their younger sister. My cousins never had the opportunity to play sports or participate in extracurricular activities because there wasn’t any time or money. 20 years later and my aunt has no social life or hobbies besides caring for my cousin. She lives in a one bedroom apartment with my cousin and relies on government assistance. Her other children have gone low contact.
My pro-life family loves to point to my aunt and say “how can you support abortion? Don’t you know they wanted your aunt to abort your cousin?” And yeah, the unfortunate fact is I think my aunt’s life is bleak as hell. Life dealt her a shitty hand, but she had an out and didn’t take it. I don’t wish ill on my cousin, but I know if I were in my aunt’s position or the Ridgeway’s position, I would have the abortion.
My uncle was born with DS. My grandmother loved him deeply but didn’t have the means to care for him as a new immigrant with other children and a low paying job. He was put in a home for disabled folks and was abused horribly there.
He was transferred to better care when this all came to light, thankfully (he’s a ward of the state as a result, so they pay for his care). But my grandmother died 30 years ago and he’s all but forgotten by everyone but me. My father doesn’t visit him unless I insist. His other siblings don’t visit him at all.
I could not bring a child into this world knowing that their life after my death could be this — or much, much worse.
I know this about myself and would make the same choice. Would I feel guilty and horrible? Yes. But I’d still make the same choice.
Have all the people on here saying things like “why did they share the information? They should have kept it private and lied.” considered that keeping these things so private and lying about it are part of what stigmatises abortion so much?
Saying things like “we should all know less about each other” and acting like they’ve posted some cringe TikTok is gross.
Abortion is healthcare. Abortion saves countless peoples lives and is a vital part of basic bodily autonomy. In the US they have actively taken that right to bodily autonomy away from millions of women, and are seeking to take it away from everyone. If someone wants to share their story for whatever reason that’s their choice, and no matter why they have shared it, especially if they are a public figure, we should be applauding that bravery, because it will absolutely make many others who have gone through the same situation feel less alone and ashamed of making a personal healthcare decision, something that should be a human right.
In an age where women are regularly dying because their governments decided to take that right away from them, where babies are born that are too sick to live, and their parents have to watch their much wanted child die because they were unable to get an abortion, I’m heavily side-eyeing anyone who says they’re pro-choice but then moralising or making snarky comments about people sharing their story of abortion.
The “you robbed yourself of experiencing a level of empathy” argument is so disingenuous. You don’t bring another person into the world so that YOU have character development. blah.
Shitty situation all around, sucks that they have to do it publicly.
My son has a genetic syndrome (that is very rare so not picked up on prenatal tests or scans) and while I love him exactly how he is, especially 2+ years in, I think if I had known I would have made the same decision. Not because it’s hard for me, but because he suffered so much. In the hospital the first 8 months of his life, open heart surgery, a tracheostomy, and g-tube. I saw how much suffering happens to children in that time and it’s like nothing you can even explain unless you live it.
Good for them for making a decision that helped a child not suffer.
I mean there is a reason they do this testing before a certain deadline. These people are not the only ones who’ve made this particular decision.
That first response “you missed out on developing empathy” is so gross. You don’t burden someone with existence just to teach yourself a life lesson. Fuck off with that selfish narcissistic shit.