STAR IN THE HOUSE Joan Blondell comedy 1955. Pilot episode of proposed series, aired as GE Theater

PARADE OF STARS (GE Theater). Joan Blondell stars as, you guessed it, a stage and movie star in this delightful fast paced comedy. She is now raising a family. Getting ready for a magazine interview by Theater Arts Magazine about her “ideal marriage,” she gets wind her husband is out late with another woman! Laughs galore as the teenage daughter and Joan find they might have prematurely judged daddy. Cute television comedy that should have been a TV hit! Co-stars are John Sutton, Ellen Corby, and Susan Whitney, with Rodney Bell, Madge Kennedy, Elenore Audley, Colin Campbell, Leon Lontoc, Linda Stirling, and William McLean. Directed by Rodney Amateau. Transferred from 16mm b-w film.

[Music]
o morning
[Music]
no Kathy I can only go riding in the
morning big day around here
tomorrow Mom and Dad’s 15th wedding
anniversary Theater Arts magazine is
doing a Fe teach the ideal stage
marriage oh when Mom was on the stage
she was a real dream puss like Marilyn
Monroe don’t be silly you know our maid
Frankie says that mom made Marilyn
Monroe look like little Annie
Rooney look I better get down now and
see how she’s making out with the
interview see
you you may tell your readers that since
my my marriage i’ are you ready since my
marriage I’ve been supremely happy life
with Ted has been one gay big Lovely
World here far from the make believe of
Broadway I found true happiness with my
adorable little husband and my dear
little daughter and my beautiful home
and my heavenly garden and Frankie and I
Laya AR too thick if you were shuing
corn there wouldn’t be Colonel left on
the
cob oh they’ll be here too tomorrow
huh I hope they send a man hi GRE puss
hi you dear little
daughter they’re going to take pictures
tomorrow where my riding
outfit you wear your blue dress I don’t
want my public to think I gave birth to
a jockey don’t worry I’ll be a picture
of girlish innocence that was Mr
Preston’s office he’ll be late again
tonight working late again
it’s been every night this week 11:
12:00 never used to work nice when we
were first married of course it’s only
natural he’s practically running the
bank now busy all the time just so many
hours in the day you
know it’s not his fault poor little deer
I’ll kill him that’s what I’ll do I’ll
kill
him that way way you’ll always know
where he
is it’s the old old story he’s tired of
me 15 years
disenchanted magic’s gone out of our
marriage next thing you know we’ll be
looking for Green
alons
Pastures and Mr Preston’s not the
looking type he’s a banker not an actor
they’re all the same they just wear
different colored suits oh I should have
seen it coming it’s my fault whaty marry
an actress with all the glamour of the
theater the first time he saw me was in
Panama hatti I came out on the stage
like
[Music]
this and blop he fell right out of a $6
seat but what he got
now little something from House and
Garden
chubby little patonia
plucker Frankie you know what I’m going
to do go like this
again I’m going to give him what they
whistled at in Panama hary now when Ted
gets home we’re going to have a a late
supper by the fire soft lights music his
favorite dish Chicken Tetra champagne
the full treatment yes madame I’m going
to tell him to come home early anything
else madame um yes Frankie ice my
slipper in case he’d like to drink
champagne
all champagne and chicken tetrazini I
suppose I won’t be wanted underfoot
probably have to spend the whole evening
huddled alone in my cold bare little
room you know something you’re getting
to be a bigger ham than your mother
what’s mother up to Ellen remember out
at the stable when they put the young
Phillies out to pasture and Gypsy boy
tried to jump the friend yeah well your
mother’s just lowering the old top rail
a few
not Mr Preston
[Music]
please hello Ted I was wondering if you
could come home early
tonight nope nothing special planed oh I
shouldn’t be too late tonight dear huie
Duckworth is here working with me right
now and we’ll try and get finished up
early yes I do too dear
no no I haven’t regretted a single
second of it either why yes of course
darling till the very end of time would
you mind if I hang up now our love life
is infringing on a Federal Reserve
report
yes 15th anniversary of course say tenor
yes huie afraid I can’t stick with you
on this paperwork tonight oh devoting my
evening to the mallerie trust I wish we
could land that account you still having
trouble with the lawyers of course
took your advice tedar and bypassed the
barristers went right to the queen bee
herself Miss Henrietta mallerie dining
together this evening Oh I thought we’d
go to the Shanta Clair oil the financial
Wheels with a little Capon Victor Hugo
so to
speak H I happen to have an account at
The Shanty clear now why don’t you just
use my card and sign my name
wonderful hate to stick you with all
this
work know your tired this will mean an
extra hour’s work for me tonight toy but
Joan has nothing special planned be
upset so though when I get in too late
have the same problem at home
myself anytime I get in after midnight
there’s mother waiting up for me with a
glass of hot
[Music]
milk
[Music]
you know it’s 10:00 I’ve heated that
chicken petrini so much there’s no juice
left in it I know just how it
feels I wonder what happened to
him head
lights
[Music]
music
love face you’re
home lady can I use your phone the rear
end just fell out of my
[Laughter]
car hey it’s him huh oh last
lights
[Music]
love face you’re home
hi good gosh it’s dark in
here Romeo and
Juliet good solid
Opera
you know I don’t know when I’ve been
this
[Music]
tired feel rotten too the train was
crowded full of late Shoppers it was
[Music]
awful I’m sorry I got you out of bed you
didn’t like it
mhm Joan yes my love
is there any bicarbonate in the
[Music]
bathroom well what’s all this oh I I
fixed a late supper for us by the fire
oh I’m sorry I already ate you ate yes
you know one of those fellows coming
through the train I bought a baloney
sandwich baloney sandwich H it was
either that or a travelor candy
apple I go right upstairs to bed good
night dear good night
K what’s the matter our G eyes get
better kisses than that from French
generals I’m
[Music]
exhausted what’s with a romantic evening
Frankie I’m
dead or he
[Music]
is is he still sleeping uh-huh what do
you think’s wrong with him oh I don’t
know I guess he’s reached the age where
he doesn’t care for chicken Tetra any
maybe I was right about it now who Could
That Be this
early yes I am bus Boy tantic Restaurant
Char Street I have your pocketbook for
Mrs Preston pocket book yes Miss Preston
leave it in restaurant when she eat
there with Mr Preston last night that’s
nothing
I find in Booth both say very expensive
Trace through your check signed Mr Thor
Preston both say important customer
bring right back there must be some
mistake thank you very much get some
change Frankie thank you no no no thank
you oh but how about your car Fair own
piece of restaurant bye lady bye
lady
so he was at the Shanta Clair last night
and I don’t think it was for a baloney
[Music]
sandwich I’m not going to get
excited it’s it’s like that null coward
play remember the wife does nothing for
foolish or impulsive she just sits
quietly and waits till her husband comes
to her with an explanation and uh what
will we do while you’re waiting open the
bag and get a line on this ow you can
always tell what a woman’s like but what
she carries in a
purse forbidden that STS $12 an ounce
man trapped
bread smelling Sals
smell needle and thread this kid’s ready
for anything
real
diamonds real
diamonds gold
Matchbox well she’s not a campfire girl
that’s for
sure how do you like his timing on our
15th wedding
anniversary brand new sheffields no
less I’m going to find out who this is
how can you do that you don’t know her
name or address anything about
hello Sheffield’s bag Department please
you’ll get nothing out of them that’s
the stuffiest store in Boston hello
honey a few days ago I bought an evening
bag there mhm it was a white beaded bag
with a gold clasp and it was made by
fontainea Paris oh you remember selling
it to me good well honey what’s my name
oh no this isn’t a quiz program I
usually know my name but not today so
would you be a love and tell me who I am
this will never
work well you you see it’s like this I’m
um I’m an Amnesia victim and I I have a
little Quirk here I run around buying
bags under assum names and uh well when
the bill comes in for this bag I want to
know whether it was me or not see I’d
hate to go paying bills and find out I
was a total
stranger she’s gone for the Sal slip
sure she didn’t go for a
net oh thank you
pet thank you so much now honey would
you tell me my address I’m lost and I
want to go
home good you’re a dream girl my name’s
Henry
I live at 327 Beacon Street and I’m
about to have an early
caller you just can’t go barging in on
Beacon Street Boston biddy’s going to
steal my guy but she’s one of the
malleries they’ve never done this sort
of thing why does she have to break
training with my husband Frankie don’t
let Ellen get wind of this she’s so
emotional how long have you been here
who’s a little Filipino with the
pocketbook oh just a little Filipino
with a pocket book now go have your
breakfast but what did he want he wanted
to he wanted to know why we didn’t give
him their independence now mother’s busy
go have your breakfast we gave the
Philippines are Independence 10 years
ago he was an old Filipino and I go have
your
[Music]
breakfast hello Kathy I won’t be able to
go riding today day no I have to go to
Beacon Street to break up a
romance yes between my father and
another
woman mother oh don’t be silly she
couldn’t handle this she’s much too
[Music]
emotional good morning Frankie good
morning
H and uh where is my Charming wife
out Ellen
[Music]
[Applause]
gone Preston
residence Mr Preston it’s for
you thank you a man Mr
Duckworth I wonder if she sneaks a
little niit n
then hello huie got a call from
Henrietta mallerie seems the old girl
left her evening bag when she and I
dined last night at the Shanta Clair I
phoned the restaurant they informed me
they delivered it out to your place
evening bag no I don’t know anything
about
an well there is an evening bag here Hue
and it doesn’t belong to Joan I know it
must be it there’s a diamond watch in
there quite concerned about it well if
it’s that important I’ll stop by on the
way in and drop it off at Miss
mallerie’s
of course Henrietta it’s none of my
business but transferring the mallerie
estate to another
bank your grandfather will roll over in
his grave well grandfather rolled over
in his grave when my sister married that
person from Ohio he’ll just have to roll
right back again that will be all
Wilson I’m uh very much impressed with
Mr Duckworth oh such a gay friendly
Bachelor something so so reassuring
about a man who doesn’t wear padding in
his dinner Jack but you should be
careful nowadays there are all sorts of
people there’s a strange child here to
see you I don’t know any strange
children what do she want she wouldn’t
say but she insist Miss
mie yes I I’m Miss mie what can I do for
you child I’ve come to ask you to give
up my
daddy daddy well I never oh dear he
probably never told you but I have five
sisters five little sisters and we’re
very poor oh dear miss
mallerie you have you have all
this give us back on D
will you please show this child out I
think you’d better go now
miss you ought to be ashamed of yourself
you old Laurel
Eye damn me I don’t understand it it is
peculiar a perfectly strange child
barging in here and accusing you like
that my children never behave that way
when I was a girl must be
television
La why they were some sort of
mythological creatures weren’t they
women who lured Sailors to their Doom
good heav I never knew a sailor in my
life except
grandfather strange very
strange well I must run now
Henrietta the trifle
late my good woman you can’t just break
in here like this out of my way Junior
out of my way oh well I’m really not as
as I
thought you me you storm oh really are
you Henrietta I believe this woman wants
[Music]
you so you’re Henrietta mallerie yes
Miss Henrietta family came over on the
Mayflower cfish Millions
mie I am she see here
now
you you are man crap red really I I
don’t know what it is but you must own
an awful lot of shrimp
boats woman who are you I am Mrs
Theodore Preston wife of Mr Theodore
Preston Preston I don’t know any
Theodore Preston you didn’t dine last
night with him at the Shanta Clair I had
dinner at the shant Clair with a with a
business acquaintance but I assure you
it was not your
husband dear I’ve made an awful mistake
of course you
[Laughter]
have I’m not the type of woman that goes
around stealing other women’s
husbands after all I was a vassa
girl oh I’m just terribly sorry I I
don’t know what you must think of me
barging in like this oh it’s quite all
right after all it does have its
humorous as but my dear I assure you I
don’t know anything theat oppress well I
never even heard of Theodore
Preston Excuse Me Miss melay Mr Preston
is here to see
you you almost had me fold miss cutfish
you want to put that act on the
road Miss mallerie I brought your Jo
what are you doing here what am I doing
I suppose you’re here for a meeting of
the
[Music]
D oh they must be New
Yorkers well I’m sure they’ll be here
they knew the interview was set for 2:00
there isn’t anything wrong is there
wrong it’s happened before Theater Arts
sent us out to Hollywood last month to
do a feature on movie’s happiest couple
they separated while we were changing
planes in Chicago no it’s nothing like
that why they’re they’re
crazy they’re crazy about each other
she’s the devoted wife and he’s the
adoring husband and the and the daughter
so sweet and
[Music]
unaffected the sweet unaffected daughter
well she’s High Strung too she what gone
on
the devoted
[Music]
wife you listen to me why do you have to
be so impossibly pigheaded you’re acting
like a
child the adoring husband no this is
ridiculous will you give me a chance to
explain this is our wedding anniversary
the 15th why didn’t you think of that
last
night I was busy last night I know out
with the Sloan’s linament
set Joan oh I’ve read books about men
like you but I never thought I’d marry
one Joan don’t hit me that’s the next
step For Heaven’s Sake
Joan the people are waiting to do the
ideal marriage
interview we’ll get to them when we’re
finish
fighting what a m
house well at least we didn’t go all the
way to
Chicago Tell Ellen we’re leaving forever
and ever and the next time I hear a
Boston I hope it’s on a can of biged
beans who gets custody of
me
oh oh Huey is Ted there I’m afraid we’re
in for some trouble on the mallerie
account I’ll call
[Music]
him mallerie account yes I just came
from the mallerie Mansion the old girl
accused me of all sorts of Ribble
carryings on I can’t understand it we
got along famously last night at the
Shand Claire tell Ted the bad news will
you happy
anniversary thanks I’ll tell
[Music]
him and just what are you doing now
unpacking I thought that you were
leaving no Ted I’m going to stick by you
no matter what you’ve done I don’t want
you to stick by me no matter what I’ve
done I know you like and foolish but
someone must be strong of course things
will never be the same between us but
the world will never know I’ll keep up
the
pretense I can’t let you do this there’s
no telling how far this weakness of mine
will
go you know someday I might bring this
Grace upon you they’re picked up by the
police for loitering behind the old
lady’s
home I’ll get you a cab oh no Ted I
can’t leave you I’ll be your anchor in a
sea of trouble I’m afraid Jonah this is
Anchors
Away you I can’t go ahead force yourself
you love Reno at this time of the year
of course it’s not Boston but then what
is oh Tech think of our home our Ellen
our 15
years woman from Theater Arts wants to
know if you finished with the phone you
forgot to hang it up in Ellen’s room
after Mr Duckworth
[Music]
called you were throwing me out in the
streets and how about you you with your
anchor to the Windwood oh you silly
little Banker you emotional
actress Joan yes kid the interview oh my
gosh no it didn’t work out we’re just
leaving well up till now it’s been like
covering the Boston
Massacre
I’ll call you
back oh I’m so terribly sorry to have
detained you you know my dear little
husband don’t you how do you do it’s a
great
pleasure and you may tell your readers
are you ready life with Ted has been one
big gay Lovely
[Music]
World
[Music]
no Kathy just when it was getting good
The Other Woman turned out to be a false
alarm I’m in my
room they’re downstairs with
chosi what Frankie oh she’s in the
kitchen heating up the chicken
tetrazini
Corney hi think it’s cute having the
only parents in town that’s still
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
smooch
[Music]
la