FINALLY Talking About My Divorce | GRWM

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❤️ Let’s talk about my divorce. This video has been a long time coming. Please be kind in the comments. Thank you for being here! You are a-mae-zing!!
#divorcestory #divorcedwithkids #grwm

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hello my beautiful friends hope you’re
doing amazing today we’re going to be
getting ready together and talking about
my divorce if that’s something you’d be
interested in hi if you’re new here my
name is Audrey thank you so much for
being here please consider subscribing
down below before you leave we talk
about makeup over here I’m just a mom
who loves makeup and that’s what we do
and if you’re returning hi hello welcome
I love and appreciate you and let’s get
started okay so I have been putting this
video off for a while mainly because I
know a lot of people are going to watch
it um I don’t know about everybody else
but when I see somebody post divorced I
instantly want to click on it it’s like
I mean it’s my curiosity I guess
so um we’re going to be talking about
that
today uh real quick um I’m not going to
talk about the makeup I’m using I’m just
going to do my makeup so everything that
I put on my face will be down in the
description box um those links are
affiliated links if I can help it that
just helps to support my Channel thank
you very much um and uh one this is my
story this is what happened to me I
cannot attest to anyone else’s stories
um and there is always two sides to a
story so he probably has his
own
side um and then so you’re going to hear
my um my story and if um a addiction is
something that um maybe triggers you or
you would be upset with watching my
ex-husband was an addict so just keep
that in mind okay so I graduated high
school in 2013 and um right after I
graduated high school my long-term
boyfriend of four years cheated on me
with my best friend so I no longer spoke
to either one of them for a while um and
then I was
um trying to figure out life and figure
out dating and I was working
and um student teaching dance and going
to college all three of them at the same
time and I was drinking a lot I have my
own um past with addiction and alcohol
so I no longer drink any alcohol ever
but um
so I um started dating my ex husband in
2014 and
he was the
brother of or still is still is um the
brother of my boyfriend that uh I dated
for four years so I keep um I knew him
and kind of reconnected with him based
on a mutual hurt because he was hurt by
um my best friend whom my uh boyfriend
at the time cheated on me with and I was
hurt by his brother so we connected and
we started dating and um honestly
looking back at it now I probably
we would have broken
up um based on all of the red flags if
um my brother would not have
died so we were dating for like six
months um and it it was starting to get
pretty red
flaggy um and then my brother died in
his car accident in January of
2015 and then my ex-husband
um decided he couldn’t break up with me
because my brother had died which is
respectable
um you know it is it is what it is um
everything happens for a reason I 110
110% truly believe that everything
happens for a reason and if all of this
would not have happened I would not be
here right now I believe in God and I
believe that he has a hand in my life
that’s
that’s it I trust him so he did not he
didn’t leave me decided he couldn’t
leave me because um my brother had just
died and
then a week after my brother
died I um got pregnant with my oldest
son
um hi if you’re new here we do have a
lot of people that are new here um my
name’s Audrey I am 29 years old and the
mother of five children my oldest son I
got pregnant with a week after my
brother died and his name is Michael
named after my brother that passed away
and then um I have Michelle who’s named
after
me and then
um I have three other children from my
current marriage Lamont Leela and milela
so um I got pregnant with my son a week
after my brother died mentioned that
like three times so
um
I
then um after about six months decided
to leave my job um to be a stay-at-home
mother and you know the job did
something that really made me mad um
they let uh another person have a
vacation when I worked my butt off for
them and always showed up on time and
all the things you know they they
favored this other person over me me and
I was like well I’m probably going to
quit when I have my baby anyways so I’m
just going to leave now so that’s what I
did I
left and started staying at home and got
married when I was six months pregnant
to my
ex-husband because I really wanted to
have the same last name as my
baby um and then and you know I mean
that was that was incredible that really
really I believe help my parents you
know they had a new grandson to think of
they were still very sad and mourning
the death of their son but they had a
new grandson so um it’s always a light
in the darkness type of
deal so um
we were married and
um gosh living at my parents house um um
we were
living with my mom and dad my mom and
dad got divorced a year after my brother
died so we got married and then my
parents got divorced
um and uh we were still continuing to
live with my mother and then um I got
pregnant again because I knew I wanted
to have two children and I knew that I
wanted to have them close together and
my
ex-husband at this time um unaware to my
knowledge was um a very hardcore addict
um pretty much everything I think he did
with yeah so
um lots of bad stuff um and he just kind
of did you know what I wanted him to do
um and just kind of went along with
everything that I said
so I wanted to have two kids close
together and that’s all that at the time
I thought that I
wanted so um we
had my daughter Michelle when she was I
in
2017 March of
2017 oh wow and then so we were living
with my mother and we lived with her for
a while
we then um moved around a couple times
we lived in a different couple couple
different places not of our own always
with friends because my ex-husband could
not keep a job because when
you’re I mean when he was as intense of
an addict as he was he um he would just
leave he would just leave the job and um
there was a couple jobs where I would
actually not be able to reach him and
then I would call the job the workplace
and they would tell me oh yeah he got
fired he he has not been working here so
I mean just lies lies after lies after
lies and that’s kind of that’s what
addicts do I think I mean addicts are
professional
Liars so he
um we had our baby in 2017 little girl
and he actually during the birth of that
baby left to go see his probation
officer because as an addict he was also
in and out of jail over and over and
over and they always let him out because
I mean he was never put he was never
caught with anything really intense the
scary drugs you know he was never caught
with anything like that they only got
him for the little teeny drugs so they
kept letting him out and they kept
letting him try to do
better um he had every chance after
chance after chance so
when I had just given birth to our
little girl he left to go see his
probation officer and then came back and
I’m sure he was on all kinds of drugs
but
so we had our baby in 2017 and then
after we had the two kids I mean we were
kind of done like I didn’t think I would
be able to have any more children with
him because I knew that he had a problem
I just thought that you know he told me
over and over and over that he would
stop and that he was done and that he
would be better and that he was gonna do
his probation officer stuff and he was
gonna he was gonna you know he told me
all the things that I wanted to hear um
very good
manipulator and I was very naive I’ve
learned a lot as time went on
so we ended up um moving to back in with
my mom and um let’s do brow next so we
we moved back in with my mom and um at
that point uh I had found a church that
I really liked that was um like an hour
away from my
mom
so um and I mean the Pastor was incred
ible the pastor’s wife was absolutely
amazing and um they had I think in their
past they’d had um a little bit of an
experience with
addiction and um where I hadn’t really
um they were able to to see the signs
and to help me being the wife of an
addict so um with my two teeny tiny
babies mind you they were very they were
so
little um
so we were able
to I had to get a job I ended up getting
a job um a part-time job a little
part-time job while my ex-husband was um
still around because I was like I gotta
I got to do something we have absolutely
no money we’re literally negative money
my mother helped us with absolutely
everything I think God for her um and uh
so I got a part-time job and then we
moved out to um that place that’s an
hour away from where we lived with my
mom we moved out there and you know
every single time he was always telling
me how he was going to stop and how
everything would be better and all the
things you know and at that point I
really did need to consider the safety
of my children so we moved out there
and
um things didn’t get better he he uh yes
just continued down the road he was on
with his probation and all the things
and the um the absolutely incredible
pastor’s wife and um pastor of the
church that I had found they
uh they ended up sending him to uh rehab
in California it was a three-month rehab
program um that was incredible some
friends that they knew and I mean they
paid for the plane ticket and it was
amazing I was like yes this is it this
is going to be it so we
um and I mean at the time I mentioned he
had he had lots of jail stuff and he had
lots of
uh run-ins with the law like lots of
probation that he kept messing up over
and over and over before he left he met
with the judge and the judge was like
okay if you go to rehab and come back
and um you are you’re clean and good
then that’s it you’re done with
probation probation done we can move on
from this part of our life right so he
went to rehab for three months okay so
at that point he was in rehab and um I
had to get a full-time job um and the
whole while I
mean I was trying I was trying so hard I
still
um was never willing to give up because
you know I I think that marriage is
super important
and it’s not something that should just
be thrown away
so I got a full-time job I buried myself
in church and I put my kids in daycare
three months go by and we have a minimal
amount of contact he passes the the
rehab stuff class whatever thing um and
then he comes back and so that is that’s
in 2018 he went for three
months in 2018
so I mean our little girl is like a year
old um and
uh yeah so um he comes back after his
three months of rehab and um
he has a meeting with the judge
because they said you know if you can
keep yourself clean and go to rehab and
then come back everything will be good
and golden and you can be done with this
and and we go to the judge he has a
court date with his probation
stuff and um he uh test positive for
meth and heroin so that didn’t happen
had to continue with all of the Court
things and stuff and um that was
absolutely gut-wrenching and really
shocking too because I mean he’d only
been back for a week like
so um that’s just it’s an addict um and
you know and in the
moment you are thinking why why can he
not pick his children why can he not
decide to stop but really an addiction
is so much more complicated than
that and I know that now looking back on
it and truly truly I wish him the best
in his life wherever he’s at but anyways
so tested positive um and the probation
started again and it was gut-wrenching
and it was awful but I still still
didn’t give up so we’re at um we’re
living in that town with our church and
I’m really pressing in and I’m trying to
help
him and
um oh his name’s Adam I was going to say
that um just his first name but anyways
so really really trying to help him and
life’s going on and all the things um
and then let’s see so he came back I
could remember the exact dates um I
think he came back in a September I
think he came back September 1st um so
September 1st of 2018 right
so 2018 and then uh we’re we’re trying
we’re trying really hard living life I’m
working full-time kids are going to
daycare um he’s trying to find a job
trying to keep a job all the
things we
um
December so December so from SE
September to December we’re still trying
but uh we get to December and I am
working at a call center and and uh I
got a phone call from a lady from our
church and um
she she
said is Adam okay you know he’s been
sick the last uh couple days or so and
hasn’t been coming into work we just
want to make sure he’s all right and I
knew exactly what that meant I knew
exactly what that meant um how many
times said I found him passed out next
to a park or
um just lying about where he
was I chased him and chased him and
chased him it was I mean it’s just it’s
just gut-wrenching to think about and
it’s so funny because now it seems like
a distant memory like it seems very much
far far in the past um but I do remember
this clearly so um
he I tried to call him tried to call him
tried to call him he wouldn’t
answer um and at this point I had um we
only had one car I had my mother come
and get me um from work went and got my
kids my mother kept my kids from daycare
and I went to my um my Pastor’s house
because I did not I want wanted to talk
to him I mean at this point he had done
the rehab and it had been years and we
were almost married for four years so it
had been years and I had never ever been
married to anyone who was not on drugs I
don’t even know what he’s like as a
sober human
being so um it had come to this point
where I went to my Pastor’s house and I
said come meet me here come meet me here
and we can talk because I am afraid of
you I’m afraid for my kids safety um
like very unpredictable pretty scary
stuff so we went to um I went
to was waiting and waiting and waiting
all day I waited the entire day for him
to come and talk to me and he wouldn’t
he couldn’t face me he wouldn’t face me
um and I said you know you can’t go home
you cannot go home I do not trust you
you can’t go to where we live until we
talk about this so come meet me
somewhere safe where there’s other
people and he wouldn’t do it so um the
day ended I went home to my little
apartment slept on the couch with my two
little
babies and uh in the middle of of the
night midnight 1:00 I got a phone call
from a police
officer
um they had found my car the one car
that we had they found my
car wrecked on the side of the road and
they could not find Adam so he had fled
the
scene and they wondered if I knew where
he was and I was like no I have no idea
where he
is
um and uh
after that I didn’t have a vehicle thank
goodness we were at our church because
someone from our church let me borrow a
car because I was commuting like 30
minutes to work every day to keep um an
income for my family and uh
so
um that was that was the that was the
last time I saw him
until a little while after that so
after that he left he left uh figured
out how to get
to um another
place that’s like uh turns out he was
like two hours away from where I was um
but I didn’t know that at the time he
literally just left didn’t let didn’t I
didn’t have any idea where he was didn’t
have any idea where he was and he had
just left and was not willing to
um meet with me and communicate or
anything like that so that’s when I
decided I was done that’s it he left he
wasn’t willing
anymore
um I got
divorced
and I filed for divorce in January that
year didn’t get approved until April
um and
then when you don’t know where your
spouse is you have to um Post in the
paper and I did all these extra things
because I didn’t know where he
was and then
um evidently he saw it or something
because he did show up to the April
hearing and
uh
um um was like I so I requested full
custody 100% physical and um the other
kind uh custody of both of my two kids
that I had at the time because he was
unsafe and unfit and um I just didn’t
think that that was good for them so um
and he came and lied to the judge and
the judge saw right through him because
judges see addicts all the time and
uh um
I was granted my custody of the children
and I still even after that was trying I
let him see his kids a couple times you
know he had a few Court things he had to
figure out um where we’re from and then
he would just go back to where he
decided to leave us at a couple hours
away and uh eventually he
stopped um trying to reach out or trying
to connect or anything just kind of left
and really I think that is better for my
children with everything that happened
and how awful and terrible that was um
and then
I
uh went through a really hard time
because the overwhelming feeling of
feeling like a failure when your div
when your marriage ends no matter what
the circumstances are are just
weight it’s just in it’s it’s an insane
weight to have to carry to know that you
tried so hard and it still
failed um so I had some healing some a
healing period and then uh my current
husband I had known him since we were 14
years old um best man I have ever ever
known absolutely incredible Slade like
blows my mind still to this day he’s so
calm and collected I like to say he’s
the calm to my crazy because I have a
lot of drama and things that I have to
work through um but I mean Slade is just
he’s amazing he’s an amazing father an
amazing husband so I kind of think that
maybe I had to have a bad one so I could
appreciate a good one but that’s just
that’s how I think um and uh yeah he
left and he’s married now to someone new
and I do truly wish him the best I am so
happy now and in such a good place and
um living my dream best life
so yeah that is what happened I was
married to an addict and oh and through
that I decided um and noticed that I was
addicted to alcohol and I completely
stopped I do not haven’t had a drink of
alcohol since 2018 18
so um but yeah I mean this is stuff that
I don’t really talk about on my Channel
please keep it kind in the comments I
know everybody has an opinion and I
would love to talk to you all but just
keep it kind please they have a dad that
absolutely loves them and goes out of
his way for them and I am so so thankful
for that I think that everything
happened the way it was supposed to and
for a reason so
yeah I think that’s everything
um I hope that I hit all the points I
wanted to hit and yeah okay if you made
it to the end of the video thank you so
much I love and appreciate you give this
video a thumbs up if you love videos
like this and I will see you in my next
one
bye Bey
call and I was at home I was at home
[Music]
I used to be so good at planning
things since I met you I threw my plans
away coffee at night and 10 a.m.
champagne we can spend a week in London
or B yeah there’s
something about the way