Scoring 1 AMAZING Goal With Every Body Part

Things get especially hard in the last challenge!
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Edit Team:
Lead Editor: Jamie Archer
Editor: Jonathan Ward
Editor: Ben Manning
Junior Editor: Darragh O’Reilly

Production Team:
Production Manager: Jess Thompson
Assistant Director: Luis Conte
Assistant Content Director: Jamie Bristow
Assistant Producer: Laura Sebright
Video Producer: Teddy Trenowden

many parts of the human body can be used
to score a goal and today we’ll be
putting nine of them to good use to
score nine Sublime
[Applause]
goals there’s Heads Shoulders Knees and
no future children for anyone taking
part difficulty increases as we progress
we’ll start at the bottom not literally
and score our first amazing goal with
the easiest body
part no goal we scored today will be
more amazing than the fact that I’ve got
you two on a football pitch in the
absence of injury so first off we’ve got
the standard that’s why he wanted to I
Knew had something in his mind Billy do
you want to go first is your the
best I just love just like watching and
play football do you know what I mean
how come you never said that about me
obvious reasons mate humans what have
you
[Music]
learned [ __ ] me man okay Bill would you
say the Champions League balls are
better I’m usually using them sounds
like excuses mate reckon Jeremy can
score with these Chris all I’m saying is
if you score this right now you’re
pulling tonight there’s your dream woman
here she comes she’s watching she’s
watching quick perform in front of her
oh oh here he goes here he goes yeah
love
that the wise words of du leer one goal
is all it
takes I think we need better than that
are you taking the mix there a wheat
foot as well you don’t have a we anymore
you just have a foot oh it’s so tight
why what nerd ties their shorts up that
tight that is the
most you can put your phone in there
sexually inactive thing I’ve ever seen
let’s get this yeah let’s let’s stop
messing around now you’ve got to just do
it now it’s your
[Music]
[Applause]
job can you believe
[Music]
it it’s over yes yes boys
finally in this challenge we are joined
by the world’s biggest Swede no it’s not
Zlatan Ibrahimovic it’s George Clark’s
massive fat head now if you move your
attention to the box I mean the penalty
area not will and’s head you can see we
have a trampoline there the ball will be
squared and then it will be down to us
to head of the ball into the goal and
score an amazing goal is the trampoline
for the rest of us or just
him oh
that’s this is pointing out how much
smaller he is than a normal size
human that’s a concussion in we was dead
the corners man they don’t help
yes oh there you go oh oh lovely cion
Landon he doesn’t need the at Arthur I
believe in
you that man’s nose must be absolutely
devastating right in the little chance
that man’s nose is not broken right now
oh [ __ ] hi
everyone a bullet had did that say could
Chow as you hit it
[Music]
oh oh oh
that that he’s taking a piss that look
[Music]
great way that was the one and you let
it go it’s shining all over again oh
come
[Music]
on I’ve never seen someone so naturally
uncoordinated all right
167 I’m still still all right
good yes good Christin Flinch we’ll keep
that
rolling Jesus AB that is the power’s
very high suddenly more like Sam not so
wise with these
[Laughter]
deliveries oh you jump like a kn
[Applause]
oh oh that was
[Laughter]
not all right b no one saw no one
saw went down in stages as well warm up
now
[Music]
though just you just water boarded
yourself it’s got to be you Chris it has
to be I actually reckon I’m better than
most premier league football as a
heading for the time will soon come when
Hobbits will shape the fortunes a
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
b never before I my mind to make up your
St back and help
it that was actually so good oh my God I
can’t see anything I’ve got blind
[Music]
spots I’ve invited Arthur along for this
one because from personal experience he
loves taking it on the chin I mean chin
[ __ ] sorry overhead kick for this one so
you got to get it on a shin score a
great goal let’s do it what do I have
taking on the chin I don’t think any my
spunk oh this is a quick one why say it
Angry
Shing ging who’s your favorite man
united player of all time of all time
Shinji kaga yeah gingi
kagua he’s Airborne for a while he does
get a good hang time we’re having quite
a nice hang time now aren’t we oh why
can’t you get a connection like that
with a girl Chris I’m surprised you’re
not good at this cuz you’ve got quite a
lot in common with a [ __ ] in you’re just
above a
foot come on George Ginge just think of
what King Charles would say after
appointing a new sir
United I like it United [ __ ] you send it
now yeah that’s
it gin we’ll give you one more just cuz
we like seeing you hurt
yourself [ __ ] off try jumping off your
right foot and he just takes it if you
said jump he’d say how far there you go
yeah yeah try it now with your shorts
off try it now with your shorts off
[Laughter]
mate it’s just a volley lad yeah that’s
just a volley pal anyone else want to
say that
too finish finish you dirty Kung goler
oh that’s nice that’s a nice thing to
say anyone else thought of a polite way
to ask to home yet Chris what song’s
playing in the edit right now now I’ll
sing it for you give me some holiday by
Green
[Music]
[Music]
dayy
[Applause]
on That’s my boy
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
yeah bicycle sand
[Music]
[Applause]
come next up we have back I’m
essentially going to become a human
bounce pad we’re going to have a ball
launcher firing at me and I’m going to
pop it up for you we didn’t want every
section to be us deflecting across into
the goal with slightly different square
inches of our bodies so we redesigned
the back section into an assist for a
volley instead as it would have probably
produced the most boring goal how are
you going to do that and manage to carry
Theo Baker on your back like you have
will shoot sorry sorry sorry F really
getting the technique
quite I’m just ready to ready
[Music]
to oh
no
[Music]
no no
doing a s run do you guys want anything
I have that ball back
please oh sorry you want a couple go for
you yeah I just going to W some sun
cream on all right can we get that on
camera up Factor 250 there’s moments in
life where you have to take people’s
advice any you want any sun cream no
thanks I might on the not pery not pery
and I didn’t take it the last time Chris
asked me I’m taking it now up there we
go another one another one another one
oh the this is so against my rehab
program a big baby just get on with the
game oh beautiful oh
yes that was for Carly as well who’s
Carly your misses no in between us oh
bit young for you isn’t it only V and
hes I watched the first one did you
actually not on Netflix I’m talking
about live on BBC I was 26 years
old you’re nearly 40 we’ve switched end
because of the wind we only need one
attempt let freaking do this nice
jackets Lads very coordinated almost
like they look like
F2 yes guys we are the
[Music]
F2 on come on
[Music]
that is so good man long what a set
Billy that was an amazing perfect bro
great set I feel so sorry for you having
to put up with our shoo great team
effort there
[Music]
L for this challenge we’re going to be
doing our best Mario batell impression
no not the one Joe well did we’re going
to try and score an amazing goal with
our shoulders Ally this is your first
time you’ve ever appeared in a chrismd
video I had to wait until there was one
that required literally no football
ability whatsoever thank you for that
intro I love that one thank you very
much let’s go
hum what are you doing too much elbows
there’s one angle I’ll give it I’ll give
it to totally right one angle looks like
a straight elbow absolutely but there’s
also the key angle if you look behind
the head what the [ __ ] is going on here
Shadow
shoulder all right I’ve got
this content above pain P is in the mind
pain is a concept Top bins that’s
reality I just don’t understand how
anyone would ever want to see with
you go Chris oh that’s it think of
Shannon
moment oh almost reach the goal come on
get we ride a day break What’s Happening
Here May our tips touch may may this be
the night our tips touch and we go to
battle
yes there’s room for one more always
room for one more I don’t want to join
welc I don’t want to
join why are you looking at
me what did you want me to say then
please good power every time I’m me in
coach I can do it no you can’t I can do
it you still have the faith in him that
he can do that you don’t do
that oh the G come off [ __ ] hell this
is crazy he’s worse than
me oh now he stubbed his finger trying
to catch
the wow you look cool that’s some swag I
just don’t understand how any woman
would ever want to sleep with you give
we’re good at other sports right
one even that sport is debatable the
pish true is it not more losses than the
wins fought Neymar’s Grandad and I
like G
texting Bro you’ve got no you got no
contact in that home man who could you
be talking to giby giby giby shut up
chip as you can probably tell by the
amount of attempts we’ve shown so far we
were how do you say in English honking
up the Gaff so we thought thought we try
switching
sides you’re being [ __ ] sorry sorry I’m
trying to understand what he’s looking
for you
know stop stop stop stop top beans we
boo loser loser
loser you can never do that [ __ ] I can I
you could never do have to let me try a
million years you’re not letting me try
you could never do that I could do that
I could do it I can do me in don’t
[ __ ] talk being fa you’re not being
fair not being fair I’ve traveled here
I’ve traveled not to commentate but I
want to do your a is crazy but when you
actually get up there you [ __ ] [ __ ]
you can have three goes
God we’ve awakened him we’ve awakened
the beast in the the Beast the beast in
the sheets no it’s the beast from the
midle e the Beast yeah theond is awake
I’ve had enough of being around you
she’s ready to strike she’s L she’s L
she’s you know I’ve lost your mind raw
and
[Laughter]
wriggly oh BR no he needs to come off
this why Jake Paul SM your bummer yeah
this [ __ ] attitude even Neal’s Grandad
might have a chance to get where did you
get Neymar’s Grand who which one of my
opponents was Neymar’s Grandad got wind
in his lungs B you’d be fighting boms
happen coach happen coach I promise go
I’ve been working hard it quickly became
apparent that it wasn’t the angle of the
ball launcher that was the problem so
back to the original position we
went
same what would you guys do differently
I won’t be here what we really need to
do is create a powerful sense of
dread come on Christopher you’ve got it
[Music]
so I can’t believe what I seen I can’t
believe what I’ve
[Music]
seen right we’re getting on some
difficult body parts now we have the
heel imagine a prime Antonio Valencia
cross just unnecessarily hard this has
got your name written all over it are
you spinning Theo or are you going for
like a oh my gosh he’s connected and he
put no effort into it as well he just
swung his body around and went Bang Yeah
call it your YouTube channel cuz there’s
no effort going into that it’s been so
long getting back to this point I just
can’t kick a football without injuring
it’s [ __ ] it took two nurses to get me
to War 3 m to the
toilet fingers crossed and when I’m back
the back are
[Music]
good it’s still
[Applause]
bigger it’s still bigger oh boy that was
my chick so you really are a wizard man
and that saing oh Springs tears to my
eyes
ah yeah anyone recorded that one that’s
the best thing I’ve ever seen that was
so
[Music]
cool we going to put a b Top Spin on the
ball launcher this time and we’ve got to
stand in between the penalty spot and
the edge of the box and hit it do bins
jinge Channel your inner Wayne Rooney oh
because of the knee go on get it you got
the
body R oh
oh I don’t believe it I don’t believe it
go on your big vanilla beef
[Music]
cake oh my God oh my
God oh no was that like the neck one
again way worse let’s let the viewers
decide let’s show them when he first
appeared on the channel oh there it
is and then let’s let’s cut to what just
happened then one more
time okay right we couldn’t get this the
other day so now we have not the hero
that we deserve but the hero that we
need right now and Ally and me are going
to score this goal let’s do it where did
you stand where’d you stand politically
or you got to put a marker down I don’t
know [ __ ] should have had Ali for the
heading challenge that made so much more
sense [ __ ] off [ __ ]
off no it’s got
he’s not happy you’ve got this Brother
come on oh yes there you
go why does he fall over every time I
think it’s something to do with the
shoes I told him to bring them because
then I knew you’d come along if you knew
Gary was going to be on the shoot is
that meant to be funny is that drug
[Music]
humor
ow what say [ __ ] yeah no one’s really
watching this mate we get it it’s your
video but you’re hugging it mate no h on
I’m no I’m dialing in dialing in I’ll be
dialing into the wh house to call up
Chris’s mother what you think of my n
Gandy stylish stylish you look like a
ball this is what your Dad wears around
the
house I know those socks sandal socks
these are coold man so am I doing this
but what am I actually doing you got to
drive your knee forward you got to suck
my [ __ ]
cck there we go that’s your
power that was not the right body part I
don’t
think put that in my
mouth
[Laughter]
is [ __ ] T that [ __ ] cheese strings
it’s like I just put two [ __ ] Kinder
whs in my C I am never washing these
again get these nuts in your
mouth no hey let me um you want me to
score it quickly look you go you go sit
down keep your eyes this yeah this is a
fine I’ll do it by myself moment
e
herey that is one of the strikes of the
Season absolutely brilliant fantastic
from Wayne
Ry did you see
that come on good
go he stood there and just just watched
it sail into the back of the net maybe
because he’s been here for 3 hours or
maybe cuz he couldn’t get to it either
way let’s move on to the next
[Music]
one as we approach the rear of the video
it’s time to use some of the dump trucks
on show here to score this goal I’ve
been trying my whole life for this my
good man the ball oh there you go that’s
it that’s it I think you’ll be better if
your shorts were
off put some take on it no don’t using
every body part but the one we want and
take those shorts off my parents
genuinely said to me recently they were
like Chris your videos are getting hella
gay at the
moment okay they didn’t say
hell oh there it
is fuckzy that’s it that’s it sliding
off my little lightning
board giving the ball of paper cotton
that ready here he
is I’m actually feeling it we’re just
not used to getting pounded like this
I like that Chris you got a bit scared
son you got to commit your ass I don’t
like this
[ __ ] slap me and call me
Sally that’s what happens when you
commit your
ass oh yes
you just have to wait for the right
delivery and then just give it a little
I’m so impressed don’t you disrespect my
body every I never will I never
[Music]
will for the last challenge of the video
and most likely the hardest in more ways
than one we need to score an amazing
goal with the fallace now you can raw
dog this I’m going to wear a cricket box
I’m ready grab it grab it grab it he
doesn’t even have the box in yet it’s my
video so I probably should be doing this
first each one’s going to hurt each
one’s going to
hurt
oh bro calm the power bro that’s good
that’s good that’s good what you mean
that’s good it’s coming to my
[ __ ] oh my this is so scary I feel my
heart starting to pound I’ve done some
crazy things in my time but this has to
be one of the scariest things I’ve
[Music]
done oh my God oh my God how did it feel
yeah not great who is going next you
need to pave the way for the for the
small guys can I just see how fast it’s
going yeah nah that is crazy
no oh
my what [ __ ] do I don’t know what to do
n ifel can’t do it how the [ __ ] am I
meing this how they fitting without
falling through your shorts I still
haven’t put anything in here oh really
yep go give off
yeah he’s done he’s done he’s done he’s
he’s
finished nah oh I can’t even laugh it
hurts my body is
broken by the way if if this goes in
we’re taking this it doesn’t even have
to be a good goal send
it
it maybe a bit of Back Spin might help
Back Spin what do you mean Back
Spin more Frost yeah
come that’s
good that’s all you need do
yes didn’t you ask any women to do this
like because it would have been per like
why didn’t we think of that Saina
slapped it harder than
this in the
plums did that not hurt bro come on man
it’s not it’s not going to hurt
him yeah that’s true that’s good there
[ __ ] all
there go on little
one he’s going to do with his hands down
his
pants that doesn’t do that much he
doesn’t do that
much it’s just a mental block you have
to get past
that me
[Applause]
you
work hit me hit
[Music]
me let us kiss it better Bo come here
Bubba M that was so good but in about 5
minutes time when you realized how good
a goal that was I’m telling you when the
Pain’s gone and you’ve just got the
eternity of a goal on the chrismd
channel you’re going to feel bloody
great tell you that can I tell you the
line that I was going to say I have the
line when I was going to score the crot
shot it’s the line that you say you
serve the D
no oh that’s a deep deep deep memory of
repressed do you’ve just been given the
D the Chris
MD see you later guys